How do you deal with breaking up with someone your family loves?

Okay, so I have been dating and living with my boyfriend for three years now. I have a very close family and he has become completely integrated into their lives, and they all consider him family.


I have recently realized that our relationship is not entirely healthy and I think that we need to break up and live apart to regain some sense of self and work on healing ourselves independently. My family has tried to be supportive, but I keep hearing from them that it's like he's leaving all of them too, and its really hard for them. He is REALLY close with my father and I know that my Dad is still making an effort to stay in touch with him, as is the rest of my family.


It's killing me, I really need support right now but I feel like I can't get it if they are still so close to him. I have tried explaining why we are separating to them but a lot of it is things I don't feel comfortable talking about with them. It makes me want to stay with him but for the wrong reasons. HELP!How do you deal with breaking up with someone your family loves?
Why do you ';need to seperate'; to work things out? You sound like you want a break for ulterior reasons. If you intend on getting back together, why split up at all?How do you deal with breaking up with someone your family loves?
Well you can't force your family to NOT call him or NOT love him all of a sudden. You met a great guy and they agreed with you on him. The only thing you can ask from them at the moment is to not let him in on your personal life (aka telling him where your going/ who your seeing/ what you do in your spare time or how you're feeling. If they keep him in the dark about you and don't bring his name up around you, just let it alone.
Wow!! I am not sure if you are my daughter or not. Our stories are identical. If you are KS please know we love you and support you and you are our number 1 priority. You introduced this great guy and were so glad we loved him and became so close. Now that your feelings have changed, ours haven't. He wasn't abusive, mean, cheating or any other bad things. You broke up for what is really a no fault break up. He will not be invited to family gatherings or any other place you will be. Dad has become a father figure to him and your family has become his family. He was always good to you and to us, its hard to abruptly end it. But it will eventually come to a gradual end. Give everyone time to slowly make a break. We love you more than anything, but let everyone accept the loss gradually. XXOO mom
Your family don't have to live and sleep with him, you do.Only you can decide what is best for you. Or you could lie and tell your dad he beats you for sex,then he will show him the door for you.I'm only kidding.Good luck.Hope it all works out for you.
Hopefully, your reasons aren't small. If you think this is hard and not healthy, try being married. Marriage takes work. I think you already have a lot going for you both since the families are happy with you both. I wish I had that problem. Make sure you're not throwing away something good. No relationship is perfect. My husband is from another country which has its challenges but the pros outweigh the cons. I'm glad I never gave up through tough times, because things just get better over time.
Gee I think you need to point out that YOU are their family and that you need their support. If they want to contact him they can but in private and not telling you....





If they don't get it well then I would suggest you find your support from people that understand you better than your family (that is sad) and ignore them. Maybe that will snap them back into family reality..





Good luck
That is tough. You should feel good that your family accepted someone you chose with open arms. This does not always happen.





You cannot live your life for other people so, just tell your family you do not want to hear about when they talk/see him.





You can control how you feel - but you cannot control how they feel.
I was engaged to a guy years ago who my family adored. My family is very close too. He was a great guy and my dad loved him alot. They went hunting and fishing together, my dad worked on his car with him etc.... When I broke it off I did so with my feelings in mind. I was surprised how my family, reacted. My sister even cried and said she felt like she lost a brother. The whole world seemed to be coming down on me, so I forced myself to be with him. It got to the point where I just knew in my heart this was not the guy for me. He was terrific but should only remain a friend. So I broke it off again, which put him through alot of unecessary pain, we should have stayed apart the first time. Well here I am married to a different man, I have children, and my mother still sends him a christmas card each year. He is married with kids also and his wife sends christmas cards too. I can't imagine such a bond took place. I haven't kept in contact with him since our break up. I called him once when his mother died to send my sympathies, but that was all. He was very much in love but I wasn't and it wasn't fair to stay with him cuz everyone else thought he was the perfect guy. My advice is don't stay with him, your family will get over it, but most importantly think of his feelings if you stay for their sakes and not yours. Good luck!
Maybe you should consider setting your whole family down and asking them to reevaluate their priorities. Is your boyfriend their priority or are you. Do not be angry, do not judge them. Allow your love to show through and they will quite possibly realize that things really aren't as they should be.
You cannot stay with a man for the sake of your family. If you are comfortable with it, give your family permission to still maintain contact with him. Just because it isn't working out between the two of you, doesn't mean they have to lose their relationship. Part of why they like him is because he is with you and it will likely diminish and disappear all on its own once they realize he's not very good to you. They will get over it, their main concern is your happiness.





PS. When you are more concerned about the feelings of others over your own well being, its called codependency. You might want to check into that.
Well when me and my second wife got a divorce after 8 years, my mom and dad actually told me that they liked my wife better then they did me. Which really hurt me badly. I tried to understand their point of view, which i really never truly accepted it, but i moved on with my life. I had two teenage girls to raise and my parents have never been supportive of me. So sometimes you have to live your life for you and not someone else.