My bf and i keep breaking up and getting back together only to break up over the same things..what should i do?

okay so i have been on and off with my boyfriend for about 3 years. the past year or so has been really tough. it seems like we fight all the time over stupid little things. i guess i should just start from the beginning. first off hes a gemini and im a picses, if that helps. it wasnt til about december of 08 that we actually started getting serious, you know taking about moving in together, having kids, getting married....that sort of thing. i have a lot of guy friends and he has a lot of girl friends. it started on new years 08 i had gotten dropped off by one of my guy friends at my bf friends house(where he was, he invited me to the new years party) well he got mad that another guy dropped me off, understandable. but then he goes and calls up his ex so i figured hes not into me so i made out with a guy at the party, he got really mad and we;ve been fighting about it ever since, literally he brings it up all the time. then from there i think he let the new years party incident go, and we started talking again. well every other week he would have a new excuse to break up with me...rather it be he just wants to be friends to hes got commitment issuses. this goes on and on til about june 09 and i can never tell if hes serious with me. one day hes like i want to marry you then the next day he says he hates me and wants me out of his life. we break up for about 2 months in june( usually we break up and argue til we come to a equal and ';work things out '; and just get back together) this time we actually broke up for 2 months without talking. then he said he was just being an *** trying to make me learn. when he and i break up he always goes back to his little girl friends so i figure ill do the same and move on, but then apparently im at a wrong by doing that. a guy friend of mine had messaged me over myspace and i replied and deleted the message cuz i knew my bf would get mad. ( the message wasnt bad, i wasnt flirting, the guy wasnt flirting with me) he just doesnt like me talking to ANY guys. not even ones ive been just friends with since before i met him. okay so we keep breaking up cuz he says im keeping these guys around which i do not beleive is true. im just a really nice person and i knew this guy liked me and i didnt want to hurt his feelings so i tried to come up with many different ways to get him out of my life without actually being a ***** about it. so i told him i got my phone turned off. i deleted him from my myspace. and eventually i straight up told him to quit talking to me.( this is all the guy friend, not my bf) well my bf finds the message in my myspace trash and gets mad and breaks up with me. i guess i kind of understand where he is coming from. point is we fight a lot over things that have happened in the past, things i thought he got over and let go of. i feel like any time we are doing better he just goes and brings up things from my past so we'll fight. what does that mean? just last night he wont me up in the middle of the night and asked who someone was on my comments on myspace, someone i use to talk to and i was just gonna say hey see how they were ( because he was talking to his little girl friends again) he flipped out and broke up with me again. i dont know if its all the stress thats causing us to fight or what. his dad just got diagnosed with cancer about 8 months ago and they thought he was getting better but it spread and now they only gave him 8 months to live. my bf is also having a hard time getting into the air force because of some trouble hes gotten into in his past. he cant find a job and his gma just died. i just want to know what should i do about this whole situation? should i keep fighting for our relationship or let him go and move on. i love this boy to death and i want nothing more than to be with him til the day i die but i cant stand him bringing up my past every other day, and ive told him how much it bothers me. ive quit talking to all my friends and he says i cant talk to any guys but he can talk to any girl he wants! i just am clueless as to whats going through his mind....WHAT SHOULD I DO?My bf and i keep breaking up and getting back together only to break up over the same things..what should i do?
Agh! Too much information - sorry, but if it is all getting to you this much - leave him and move on! It sounds ike it is doing your head in and you will end up ill with no friends.My bf and i keep breaking up and getting back together only to break up over the same things..what should i do?
Leave him alone. Seriously. It's not healthy.
tldr
tbh sweetie, you cheated on him at this party, he'll always remember but tell him if he chooses to go back into a relationship with you, he's gotta forgive, maybe not forget but he has to let yous both put it behind yous, you sound like you love him alot and tbh, i'm sure he loves you too. but you can't keep going on like this, its not healthy. he's under stress with his dad and grandma yano? but he shiuld be able to talk to you about it not take it out on you, sit down and tell him he's gotta stop this or you'll be gone forever, GOODLUCK!!xxxxxxxx
I didn't read past the question.


But if you guys are repeatedly breaking up over the same thing, then stop getting back together.
Yes, I read the entire thing. Please, paragraphs are a part of written language for a reason, I'll be one of the few who actually takes the time to read this. Sorry





You say you understand how he could get mad that another guy brought you to a party and dropped you off, but then you make out with another guy that night cause he spoke to one of his ex'es? I could see how someone would lose trust in you. You have alot of of guy friends and he doesnt like it, given what you did, can't really say I blame him.





You are trying to hid things from him, cause why? You're affraid he will get mad, but by doing that he finds out and gets even more angry. Can't say I blame him.





He should be the one kicking you to the curb for good IMO. Do him a favor and take your drama else where before you drive the guy crazy. (not to mention the guy has a ton of things going on in his life grandma just died father has cancer, you're makeing him nuts)





The below poster, ';the past is the past';... It was only freakin a few months ago, not like ancient history we're talking about. Trust is earned not given, you lost that, and YOU have to earn it back. Id say that takes longer than 6 months, 4 if you subtract the 2 months you were broken up...geeezzz
i would talk to your bf and tell him how this situation is making you feel. It seems like he is isolating you from the people you care about and can't seem to accept that you're capable of handling friendship with other guys and not taking it too far. I would break up with him for real if he won't listen to you or gets mad when you try to explain. It is not worth being in a relationship where you are constantly being put down and guilt for having guy friends. I hope this helped and you can get a more deserving bf :)
i can totally put myself in your position except its the other way around. i cant seem to let go of the past with my bf. like you, we are always on and off....since hs. look, all im saying is, you have to explain to him that the past is the PAST. its hard to let things go. trust me, im the same way! its just like your bf, i can let the past take the best of me and push me to break up with my bf every time i think of the bad things he did. he said he's sorry and its not like that anymore. he is right, its just im the one having trouble letting things go. what saves our relationship every time is the question ';do i still want to be with him?'; see what you bf doesnt understand is that when he breaks up with you he needs to do it because he TRULY doesnt want to be with you. you get what im saying? and i think you should explain that to him. All the break up to make up stuff is ridiculous especially if its over the same topic. trust me, i know. he needs to understand that getting over things takes a long time. if the love is strong in your relationship, you two can learn to get over this phase and get better. by the way of the looks of it, you love each other a lot, so WORK IT OUT! im positively sure if you sit down and have this convo with him he can understand where your coming from. you need to let him know your not down with this make up to break up sh**, Its either we're in this together working or leaving it alone. plain and simple. good luck girl :)

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