When do you know it's right to break up?

I am 27 and have been dating my bf for over 2 1/2 years. Lately I have been struggling with our relationship and wondering if it's worth it to stick it out and hope things get better or just end things. We have a lot in common and he makes me laugh and I'm still attracted to him but there are a lot of things that really hurt/bother me. The main reasons I'm having problems with the relationship are:


1- I live 4 hours away right now because I'm getting my nursing degree and he hasn't ever offered or made any plans to come visit me. It only happens when I make all the arrangements, and sometimes he seems annoyed about it and has even said he'd rather me drive to the city instead.


2- He ';has trouble expressing himself'; so he never says sweet things to me. The most I ever get out of him is ';I miss you'; and ';I love you'; no matter how many sweet things I say to him.


3- He is 27 and lives with his mom and his mom spoils him and does everything for him (cooks, cleans, praises him) and pays all the bills. He has a good job but is making no effort to move out on his own.


4- He hates his job (even though it pays well) and it makes him crabby and tired all the time yet he makes no effort to change things.


5- He has one class left to take to get his architecture degree and is making no effort to go back to school and finish up. It seems like he prefers being miserable and complaining about not reaching his dreams.


6- He has credit card debt and a terrible credit score and has recently bought a 2000$ TV and a new computer instead of paying off his debts.


7- Even when I lived 10 minutes away from him he only wanted to see me once per week and he never came to pick me up or came over to my house. If I wanted to see him, I had to drive over to his (mom's) house to hang out. And he rarely took me anywhere. Our ';date nights'; usually consisted of us sitting in his basement watching TV and eating whatever meal his mom had already prepared before I even got there.





Mostly he just doesn't make me feel all that loved or special. It hurts because I see so much potential in him and know he is really smart and his life could be so much better but he won't change things no matter what I say (and if I DO say anything we usually fight because I'm telling him things I don't like about him). I think he might be depressed but I cant seem to do anything to help or change him. So my question is, when do you know it's the right time to break up with someone? Should I stick it out and keep trying or just end it even though I still love him? I have a lot of dreams about our future and have up until recently thought I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him.When do you know it's right to break up?
I think you should type this up and mail it to him.


Really. It'll shake him up a little bit I am sure. Relationships are worth fighting for, unlike what everyone says, especially because you say you two have a lot in common.


I won't say no more, just mail him this letter and act on what he does. I am a male and I'll say we do think differently, sometimes we NEED to be told this stuff to act on it.


However he does seem a little bit immature but I don't know how old he is. lol. I wis you lots of good luck.When do you know it's right to break up?
Ok, I didin't even have to read everything and i'll straight up tell you that you're bf is lazy and is a waste of time. If he still lives with his mom at 27, then theres little hope for him to change. He's not going to be sucessful and neither is the relationship. He's going to go down hill, and he'll drag you down with him. Try to find a man thats confident, happy with his job, because usually when the mans happy, he'll make you feel happy. Good luck =)
Hey Ali.........





You already know the answer to this, don't you, hon?





It hasn't changed in 2-1/2 years....why would you wait longer?





It's going to hurt for awhile, but then you can move on, and find the wonderful person who will help you make those dreams come true.





Congratulations for being able to see the situation for what it is, and ask yourself hard questions about it. Good luck, hon.