How do I cope with a break up?

he quit going out to get drunk. He quit smoking cigs. He told me he wanted to be healthy for us so we could live a long life together. I had never been more proud of someone in my life. For the next couple months, the relationship was going great. Until I made the decision to be home schooled for my 10th grade year. The reason being was 1) I couldn't handle the stress of fighting 20 kids over the teacher's attention. 2) It would be able to give my boyfriend and I the time we needed to spend with each other. Taking the risk to be home schooled, meant maybe not having as many friends. I've lost a lot of friends due to my mouth and I don't plan on fighting for them back. However, the only way I could really keep in contact with the friends I had left were though MySpace and my cell phone. Of course I had guy friends calling and texting me and that's when Jeremy (the bf) started changing... He started getting needy. Being obsessive. Being posessive. And that lead to being controlling. Eventually, he ended up consuming all of my time. (my fault) but this chased my friends away. And the few friends I had left, were guy friends. And he eventually wanted to take it as far as telling me not to talk to any boys AT ALL. I'm not the type of girl to be controlled. I'm very independant. But Jeremy didn't talk to girls. By choice. He felt like ';i was the only girl he needed in his life'; so I thought to myself, ';why not? he's doing that for me. i don't need any boys in my life but him.'; but even after i stopped talking to boys, he got WORSE. everyday he'd ask ';who are you texting? who's calling you? are they cute? do you like them? do they like you? do you wanna be with them? are they sexier then me?'; and it got OUT OF HAND. Basically, we had broken up on and off the first 6 months because of his insecurities. If he can't love and accept himself, how in the world is he going to love me emotionally and mentally like I should be loved? So I waited it out, thinking that he'd change for me. Thinking it would get better. He just got worse. Part of me feels like by me breaking up with him, and then him begging for me back, it might have given him a reason to think it was acceptable to do it again. Well, we broke up for the last time last Thursday. And all the other break ups weren't hard because I knew I'd end up getting back together with him, I just wanted him to hurt and realize what he lost so he wouldn't do it again. This time is different though. He has this girl cousin. She's my age. And she's like a long lost cousin of 11 years. They just got in contact again. I'm guessing he went and told her the problems we were having and she ended up calling and texting me mean things because Jeremy likes to only tell one side of the story. Anyway, I fussed her out and she ran to Jeremy saying ';If you go back out with her, don't come crying to me if she hurts you again'; and Jeremy freaked out and took her saying that as ';If you go out with her, I won't talk to you at all'; so he ended up texing and calling me allllll day saying ';I love you Rachel. I do. But that's my family. she doesn't want me to get hurt. i lost her for 11 years. i dont wanna loose her again'; so i FLIPPED OUT. After everything I've risked for him. After everything I threw away for him. He's going to do this to me? So anyway, I cut off all communication from him three days ago but I ended up caving in and talking to him. He just kept going on about how much he loves me and would choose me over anyone anyday and how he wants me back'; well... then i started ';talk talking'; to him again to see where it would get us. but he kept lying to me about little things having to do with her. he kept trying to hide me from her so she wouldn't be mad at him. This is what makes me mad. I feel like the relationship is RUINED because he's letting his cousin dictate OUR relationship. Idk what to do. He left Friday to go to her house for the weekend for her birthday party and he hasn't texted me since 6pm last night. Which is NOTTT like him at all to ignore me... He's supposed to come home Sunday night but idk what to do or even think. I've never been this upset over a break up in my life. I've never cried this hard. I've sat in my room, crying, rocking back and fourth for hours just sitting in one place. I've eaten and slept very little. I feel like I'm going into mental chaos. What should I do? Why is he not responding me? I want to believe it's because his phone died. But idk what to think. Maybe his cousin took his phone because she didn't want him texting me at all on her birthday weekend. Maybe she's concinving him that he doesn't need me. Maybe she's putting all these thoughts into his head and maybe she's told him if he even TALKS to me, she'll stop talking to him... I'm flipping out. He's the first serious boyfriend I've ever had. The only one I've seriously shared everything with. How do I get through this? Part of me wants to be with him, but it's going to hurt because if he cHow do I cope with a break up?
cope by journaling...





you're off to a good start...How do I cope with a break up?
Well you can try that magic of making up thing.. I did it and it worked for me.. Just a thought..

cyst

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