How hard is it to break up with someone?

i think i dont actually love my boyfriend. we are really good friends but i dont think love is there. we have been together almost 3 years and have talked about marriage .etc.


we live together and stuff and we are young (19 and 21) and i just want to be single i think. im really confused. what do i do? how do i tell if i love him or if im going to be miserable forever?





please help if you have good advice.... i dont know if i want to be with him but i dont want to hurt him either...but i dont want to be unhappy... HELP!How hard is it to break up with someone?
You might test your own affections by suggesting a break from one another for a few weeks, maybe a month or so.





See how he copes with that and, more importantly, see how you cope! Familiarity with our partner can blind us to the things we actually DO love about them. Their faults, failings and foibles can get so irritating (if left unchallenged) that we forget the positive stuff that brought us together in the first place!





If he is resistant to a 'trial break' then you will need to be diplomatic in persuading him that it could be very good for both of you. Think of some reasons in advance, so you are ready to deal with this issue!





Also, he is bound to ask if there is 'someone else'. If there isn't, be very clear about that, and equally clear about whether you are both to regard one another as free agents (or not!) during the 'break'.





In my experience (honestly not that vast!) virtually all relationship problems come down to poor, sloppy, or 'devious' communication.





If you are already confident that you do not love him or want to marry him - ever - then make the break - make it compassionate - you know you can - but make it very clear and as clean as possible, for both your sakes!





A golden rule is to 'value the person' while being clear about the end of the relationship - keeping hurt down to a minimum if you can! The old cliche about remaining friends is worth considering - why shouldn't you? You can still be supportive of one another later on.





On Tuesday Pat (my wife) and I will have been married for 30 years. Many of them very difficult years - sometimes we came close to parting, but we persevered. I am glad we did, and I hope Pat is too!





It's when things get tough that the willingness of both partners to 'do some work together' is so important. Enduring relationships require time, energy, often compromises and (above all else!) heaps of forgiveness if they are to keep going without a lot of chronic (enduring) pain for one or both partners.





Here endeth the lecture!





Good luck to you both, whatever you decide!





Lots of love,





OLLY = PETE


xxxHow hard is it to break up with someone?
I am glad my thoughts were helpful, and I hope things work out well for you both - together or otherwise. PETER [OLLY] xxx

Report Abuse

just tell him the timing right now is bad ,, and you want to at least wait and experence like alittle more.... say you really care for him but at this time you want more space and all!
Tell him your not a match...He`ll get over it