We're broken up for less than a week and he sleeps with someone else and wants to get back together, what now?

A few things to note: this is a long distance relationship of about two years. This guy is my only big relationship and i lost my virginity to him. Also, we were actually broken up, it wasn't just a 'break.'








We broke up because there was an issue of whether i would move or he would move. he really wants to live in a particular city and i don't, but he'd told me not to sweat the details and he'd do whatever it takes to be with me. The relationship had gone a little stale over this summer, and last sunday after i tell him i don't like how he's been lately, he tells me that he won't move for me because that wasn't true any more. At the same time he doesn't want to let me go because he loves me and would marry me if i were there and 'needs' me to stay in his life (as a friend or contact). he tells me that he wants me to know that he loves me and that there isn't another girl and hasn't ever been so that i don't think that when i look back on the relationship. I say no and we break up. I tell him that the only way he could talk to me again was if he changes his mind about moving. otherwise we would not have any contact or remain friends at all.





Exactly a week after our break up, he calls me saying that he wants to get back together with me, and immediately tells me that he dated a girl. We talk about the moving part for a while and then he says 'i don't want you to forget that i said i dated someone.' I ask him 'did you **** her?' and he says he did. It wasn't a one-night stand either, they kinda dated throughout the week. He says she was some girl he met at a party a while ago but didn't think about dating or anything like that.





I asked him if he broke up with me just so he could date or sleep around and he said that he didn't. He kep apologizing and said that he made a mistake and that he would take all the **** that would come from his doing that. he tells me that he's ready to marry me and that i'm the one for him, they couldn't have sculpted anyone to match him better, etc.





i tell him that what happened was disrespectful and he said that he didn't think we would get back together. basically i asked him how he'd feel if we'd both slept with someone during a break up. he said it would be horrible and that he probably wouldn't be able to be with me. he says it's different because he's a guy, and i tell him i won't accept that kind of bs.





So basically, I've told him the only way I'd consider getting back together with him is if I date a little or something (he won't be dating or anything meanwhile), and he learns to deal with the same pain he put on me. At first he said no, then he somewhat came around and said that we could try it but he's not sure how he'll feel.





Is this childish and hurtful to the relationship? I don't think I can get back in a relationship with him without doing this. I don't want to put myself in the lower position of the relationship and let him think he can do whatever he wants. If i get back in a relationship with him without doing this, I think the relationship will have a lot of resentment from me and will lead me to treat him back.








Basically the question is, do I go ahead and do this, or is what he did so bad that I should just not get back together with him?





p.s. we still have a trip scheduled together for aug 13 (week-long) that we could use as a chance to reconnectWe're broken up for less than a week and he sleeps with someone else and wants to get back together, what now?
the one thing that goes through my mind about this, is if he really loved you, he wouldn't have slept with this other chick..how can a man stick his penis inside another woman one week and the next week be like, oh, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you..and that he knew her (was friends) before..it would be interesting to talk with the woman he went to bed with to see how close the friendship had gotten before your break-up..Also, this will haunt you (and him if you bring it up in the future) for the rest of your relationship..It is anxiety provoking not trusting someone...and what if you have a child with him down the line..you only have one life to live, once it's gone, it's gone..make the most of it and don't waste your time with men who don't have the same morals as you do....on the other hand..this was a long-distance relationship, right? If you were to get back together, I think there would be a huge trust issue with him living in another town after what happened..Good luckWe're broken up for less than a week and he sleeps with someone else and wants to get back together, what now?
Don't complicate things if you want to get back together with him.





For his affair, let him own you once.
Long distance relationships rarely work out...the physical distance plays into that. You can forgive him and move somewhere together so you can actually be together or you can drop him and remain living where you are. Those are your options - pick one, make plans for it and execute it.





Just because you lost your virginity to this guy doesn't mean you owe him for life...
Was he thinking about being with u when slept wit sum1 else NO


Make him earn u play ur cards right


But if it were me id leave him alone there are so many men n this world
That is utterly childish. Sorry. If you are broken up he's free and clear.





What kind of power trip are you on here? Either take him back as-is or don't. What you are describing is utterly stupid.





';Getting even'; is the worst thing you can ever do in a relationship.
Just move on. He slept with someone else, so he obviously doesn't care enough.
ok this is really tough, if i were you i would take the trip but show him how upset you are, you need to get the point across that his actions have affected you and have hurt you. This would be the best time to see if this guy is really ment for you. Cause if he breaks up with you because you don't agree with the city he wants to move to then he most likly doesnt care about you as much as you think.





the thing that gets me is that he dated a girl within the week that you to seperated, if he would have really cared about you he probably would have said no to that girl and been depressed.





I think that you need to play the field for a while like he did, se if this guy is really ment for you. even though you lost it to him, doesnt mean that you have to stay with him





Live your life with no regrets and follow your heart
omg mooove on seriously he did dump u to be with her and you would be dumb to take him back... just move on and make him see what he's missing.. trust me
He broke up with you to hook up with the other person. The grass was not greener on the other side so he wants you back. If it had been he would'nt be calling you. Heal your heart move on you can do alot better.