How do you break up with someone you've been with for 4 years?

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I'm just not happy anymore. He's a work alcoholic and even his son said he wants his ';daddy back for christmas';. To deal with the stresses of being a work alcoholic, he drinks and often times it too much. I understand a drink or 2 after work but not the whole bottle. His drinking isn't even the beginning, I'm just not happy with our relationship anymore. I think we've out grown eachother and I just don't feel the same connection we used to have. We talked about marriage and having a child together oneday in the future, but I just don't see that future anymore. His work has taken over his life and he thinks money is more important then being with me and his family...he wants to give us materialistic things but I think time with us is more important. I don't live with him and I really only see him on the weekends but even then he goes into the office. I'm just not happy anymore. What should I do?How do you break up with someone you've been with for 4 years?
You have decided to move on. You wish him the best in the future. Then no matter what he says don't give in.How do you break up with someone you've been with for 4 years?
It's your choice either stay with him or break up and get a new man. Just get a new man because I would say that love is more important than money. Find a man who really loves you and love happily with your loved one who you can see a lot of times. Wish him luck with his job and just break up. It will be hard to break up with a man you have been with for 4 years. Talk to him about your past about the good times so that he will know how much you guys been together. Wish you luck.
Talk to him about it. Tell him exactly what you said in the question. If you don't see any changes in two months, then tell him you want a break for a while to think about things and that you'll call him when you are ready and have cleared your head. Contact him in three weeks and gradually talk to him and see if thins changed. If not, getrid of him or seek couples counseling. The one thing that bothers me is that you said he drinks too much. this can get worse and is a big deal breaker. Are you sure he isn't seeing someone else 'at the office'?
LEAVE
The easiest thing to do is just disappear. I did that recently, just quit answering the phone when it was him, avoided being at home for awhile, took a week long vacation and didn't tell him etc. It seemed easier than saying the words. Maybe it was cowardly but I avoided a lot of hurt feelings and possibly a fight. If he had cared and wanted to work it out, he wouldn't have given up as easily as he did. Maybe you will find that your bfs work and alcohol abuse will keep him from caring very much too.





If you decide to tell him it is over, don't get into a big discussion. Just say you want to end it and if he starts arguing just repeat your point over and over.
You have one life and you have to do what's best for you... If you are not happy your child feels that.. He knows.. So if I was you I would tell him that it is not working out to well and that I am going to go my way and he can go his way....
A good person breaks up a 4 year relationship the same way they live life....with respect and honesty.
Tell him you are sorry but it's over.
break it off. this is your one and only life why live in unhappy. if your unhappy marriage will not change it. tell him why you're breaking it off with him.
Talk to him. Explain how you feel, then just break it down to the simple idea of a separation, maybe things will get better:) I'm going through a breakup of 3years so everything is easier said then done, I know, but be strong. The one quote I heard right around the time I decided to break up was ';All a relationship there is to a relationship is breaking up, you spend half your relationship breaking up. If you've been together 10 years you've been breaking up for 5.'; Think about it, I still do %26amp; it amazes me how true it is.
you repeatedly said...you are not happy anymore...and you dont see the future with him anymore....(this is how i understand your statements and your situation)...in a span of 4 years...things have changed and you now felt left out and unprioritized by this man...communication is the key..if you care for him enough you need to talk to him...initiate an honest and open talk...men who drink a lot often usually have underlying problems or insecurities...help him open up...and let him know you dont approve of his being an alcoholic and of his having so little time for you...


see what hapens after your talk...does he still want to be with you? do you still want to be with him? is he willing to change to save your relationship? do you still want each other in your lives? the biggest question is...do you still want him...not for security or for anything...if your answer to the last question is NO...then decide and get out of the relationship now...there is no point staying in a relationship when your not happy anymore...





hope these thoughts will help you...
ahh...i don't know co'z i haven't any experience in a relationship....sorry hunn...O_O
i think you should go with your feelings,if you feel you have outgrown this man,then move on,otherwise you'll only be staying around for things to get worse,find that special someone who can give you his time,etc :) How to break up with him? be honest and tell him the way you feel.
Your complaining about this mand working to hard not at home and he is drinking to much for you and your not happy with him now. You feel as though you have grown out of love with this man so what do you want to do about it let him know are just stay in this relationship and pretend everything is fine.


He has a child already and you teow dont have a child together and this child feels left out what do you think would happen if you married this man and had a child, you dont live with him and only see him on the weekends he still goes to work you not happy than let him know.





do what will make you happy and stop compolaing about being lonely.





best of luck
tell him you don't feel the same for him anymore.





My bf's cousin was with a man like this and she practically brought his 2 children up. She still sees the kids and they go round for dinner every now and then which is nice even though she was only going out with their father and was nothing to them really.





Tell him you want to spend more time with him first though and see what happens. If things change then give it another go, if not you have to leave.





Nobody deserves this. Just make sure that his son doesn't get deprived in the process. It's not fair to put his well-being on yourself but try not to be harsh towards him because you don't want to be with his dad anymore.





Say you can still come and visit him if he wants if you are close to him, but you need to find something better than what you have cos it's pulling you down.





All the best xxx
Let him know how you and his child feels about his working too much and alcoholism. Tell him that you feel he needs help and if that he needs to make a decision, you or his excessive working.
Tell him exactly what you said in your question. If he is willing to change then it is up to you to decide if it is worth giving him a chance. If you've told him all this already (you should have done this many times before getting to this point) and he's refused to change, then he had his chances and that should be it.
You're obviously not happy but don't wait any longer. If you're just not happy anymore you need to let him know. You have to stick with it though - he might get upset and tell you that you all can work things out. Don't do that. Break it off then lose all contact with him. It'll be extremely hard but in the end I think you'll find yourself a lot more happy. Things are bad now, imagine what it'll be like when you're married. Break up with him %26amp; move on with your life.





I left my boyfriend of 4 year and it was hard but better. I started dating again and I hadn't been happier.