Do I Break Up Then? And How?

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a month, and I have come to the conclusion that we want vastly different things and that we're just not right for one another. I need my space, but he's the kind of guy who believes in becoming one with the one you love. I care about my future, my family, my friends, and him. He seems to think about little else than me. To top it all off, we're both only 16....and he's already brought up the prospect of marriage.





However, I have discovered, after I started heavily doubting the future of our relationship, that, firstly, he really loves me, the way everyone deserves to be loved in their life. Secondly, I don't want a relationship that serious right now, but I still do have feelings for him. And thirdly, that I can think of no way to break up with him without hurting him. Which is the last thing I want to do, because I really do care about him.





I've realised that we went into this relationship way to soon and without considering the difficulties in so doing, and that we were better off as friends (that's when I enjoy my time with him the most, when we're being casual and friendly).





I have a few questions to ask, then. From your own personal experiences (because this is my first relationship, and I'm rather ignorant)- should I continue this relationship? I really would rather not, because it's brought me more worry than joy, but what if I make a mistake by ending it? What if he's the one, and I'm just not dealing with it well? What if he could be the one if I was more receptive to him? I mean, I do still feel the occasional pang of love for him. But maybe that's just out of intense unromantic love? Then, one the other hand, if I keep this relationship going, I may just end up stringing him along, until I realise, for sure, that we're not meant to be. Again, I don't want to hurt him!!





So if I should break up with him, then what would be the best way? Because he's sensed that something is coming, that I'm not totally into this relationship. Today over the phone, he told me not to leave, that he couldn't live without me, and then he told me to go if I didn't care about him at all. I don't know what to do. It makes me wish I'd never started this relationship at all. I'm much better at admiring my secret crushes from afar.





If anyone does recommend breaking up, how is it possible to do so without hurting someone that you care about dearly, with whom you would want to restore a friendship someday? He's a really sweet, wonderful guy. But he is so impressionable, and soft, and often, insecure. I don't want the break up to hurt him, or affect him too much or too long! I mean, he will be okay, right? He'll move on and be happy?





I don't think that I appreciate the love and affection he showers me with, since I don't love him as much, or in the same way, as he loves me. So even though I feel sometimes that I will definitely regret letting him go, I know it's what's best for both of us.





I'm sorry if my question is too confusing. But I would greatly appreciate a response.





So what should I do? And how do I do it?





Do I Break Up Then? And How?
First of all, in a break up everyone is affected. Getting hurt is part of life. He will get over it, believe me, he will.


Congratulations for being so smart.


What you want today is not neccessarily what you will want in the future. You will change, he will change as well.


Make a decision and stick to it, don't look back. Besides your thinking of a storybook if your thinking there is a 'special one' out there for you. In the real world people MAKE relationships work. They just don't 'happen'.


Life doesn't have to give you worry instead of joy. That is just being dramatic.





Telling him you can do things together sometimes works and you can be friends is a good start.Do I Break Up Then? And How?
I'm 19 and on my first relationship too.(almost 11 months) He does sound a little overly intense after only a month of dating. Unfortunately, he also seems like the type to take breakups really really hard. There is no real easy way to break up with someone. The only thing you can really do is to tell him what you told us. You thought a lot about what you feel for him and though you do care about him, you don't feel comfortable staying with him when you don't have the same depth of feelings. Good luck and try not to break his heart too bad ;)
I think you two have to sit down and talk. You should tell him all these things. Perhaps you're not ready. Do you know, if he truly loves you the way you think he does, he'll wait for the right time to be with you again. If you think that's best, then you can go your separate ways and wait a while. It won't hurt as much when you know you can continue dreaming of life with him again, and perhaps it can happen someday soon because you know he's waiting for you. All you have to do is sit down and tell him that :)