Once we started taking we figured out why we split: our place to small, money stress, his parents putting him in the middle of a divorce, his mom trying to split us up becuse she needed him to go out to their ranch and work it cus his dad was gone due to the divorce, she tried to get him t move back in with her to help her out even though we had a lease and lived together work stress from jobs we both dispised, his depression about his police related injury (he had to become a desk cop cus a dude kicked his knee cap off), his constatnt severe pain, you name it...all kinds of crap we took out on each other.
we got back together and have decided when the lease is up in the way to tiny place, that i will move back up there and we will get a house. Im will have a few pals from my childhood moving up there so ill have someone other then him up there. He just had knee replacement so his work stress will be gone, his pain will be gone...we just resolved tons of issues. We both understand where our bad negitive personal issues resulted from and now we see counselors to help us deal with our own issues instead of taking them out on each other. our communication is better then it ever was.
The break up showed each of us that our lives are not complete without the other and we now see how much we meant to each other. we talk everyday, visit and like i said plan on moving back together in 6th months. we now have even started talking marriage and future plans.
everyone keeps saying it will never work, since we broke up once, its only time before it happens again. and if you loved each other youd move back in right away. we know we cant go back to a one bedroom tiny apartment in a way to expensive part of town. Thats why we are getting a house somewhere else in 6th months. we havent had one single fight since solving our issues.
so what do you think, a break up can help you see what you did wrong and what they did wrong and help both of you identify the problems and fix it, leading to a realationship stronger then ever? or is everyone right, once broken, its unfixable.
about the house being to small...we both grew up on farms and ranches. when we got stressed we were used to being able to go piddle on stuff. Id go garden and release stress and he'd go out and shoot stuff. we were in a tiny apartment in the middle of the city with no balcony. when we got into fights or arguments, there was no getting away to cool off. Imagine not being able to just simple go off and cool down for a minute after a big fight?What are your thoughts on breaking up w/ someone %26amp; getting back together, will it work or is it prone to fail?
1) you sound like you are not ready to give up on the relationship; so follow your feelings
2) you and him are communicating - a big plus and necessary tool for a successful relationship.
3) marriage might not be a good idea until you open up and make some more decisions - like mom's needs and your individual needs.
Not a good idea going into a relationship having a tug of war with your future mother-in-law - no matter what anyone tells you men love their mothers. Inviting her over and allowing her to participate and express her needs and letting her know how it affects you two is also a good move. Good luck you sound like you are going in the right direction.What are your thoughts on breaking up w/ someone %26amp; getting back together, will it work or is it prone to fail?
Only about one in 20 relationships last and stand up to marriage, then over half of marriages end in divorce. Breaking up and getting back together actually has no effect on the odds that you will stay together. It is true, though, that if you have enough together to try and get back with each other and work out your problems, you are well on your way to a good relationship. My wife and I broke up twice because of issues, and both times we realized that we weren't complete without each other. We have been married now ten years and have three beautiful kids. The true test of a relationship is being able to weather the storm, and if both of you realize what caused problems before, you are well ahead of most relationships. I would definately go for it, just remember, recognizing the problems is only the beginning, things won't be better immediately, and while you are working through your problems, more will arise. Work through things together, and talk about you both want in EVERY situation that causes problems. The fact that you broke up and got back together actually INCREASES your odds of making it to marriage (But only by a small margin). Life is short, live every day like it is your last, and if he is the person you wouls want to spend your last day on earth with, then it is a no brainer.
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