The way I've decided to best describe my feelings for him is knowing we're not right each other, but loving him anyway. This guy is amazing--he's a total sweetheart, he's caring, he's funny, and he would do anything for me--but there are also bad things. Our phone conversations are filled with static, even after a week of not talking. We have nothing to say to each other any more. We fight a lot, and it's over stupid stuff. I try to be reasonable but he seems to be emotionally unstable. He'll begin by saying that I obviously don't care for him and then by the end of the conversation he'll be crying and telling me I'm right. We met at college and live 2 hours away from each other, so I understand that summer is difficult. I've never been a clingy person and often feel that I need a lot of ';me'; space; he feels the need to see me as frequently as possible. In the beginning, we got along famously. I was thrilled to find someone so like myself that was interested in me as much, if not more, as I was in him. The problems and fighting all seemed to begin after we said those three words: I love you. He said them to me before I said them to him...I told him that I wouldn't say it until I truly and wholeheartedly meant it (as I don't doubt he waited as well). And I did. We even acknowledged after a big fight that after saying I love you, things went downhill. During this revelation, he said ';Well I just have certain expectations of someone who tells me they love me.'; When asked what these expectations were, he refused to tell me, responding that he wanted me to do them because I wanted to, not because he wanted me to. He would often get upset that I didn't surprise him after classes or do ';cute'; things for him.
I've come to the conclusion that he is too immature right now to be in this relationship--but now the question becomes this: Do I wait out his immaturity and hope I can help him along the way? Or do I break up with him and let him learn things on his own?
I don't know if I have the heart to break up with him. It makes it even harder when he says things like ';I love you more than anything'; and ';I love you forever. I know we're right for each other, I can just feel it. I've never felt this way about anyone.'; I know it would crush him if I broke up with him, and I also know that he would try relentlessly to get me back (I've broken up with him previously). He's quite persistent. But I don't feel that we're right for each other. Everyone always says, ';When it's right, you'll KNOW.'; But then how can one person ';know'; and the other know it's not right?
We both care about each other a lot, and the fights are small. We're both 20 years old, and we've only been dating for 7 months. Any advice?Is it time to break up with him?
I would suggest a time-out. Tell him that you need a solid month of no contact. No phone calls, no visits, no notes, nothing. Explain to him that if he can not respect this, then you will end it. Tell him that after the month ends, you will re-evaluate how you feel and if you think you can continue in the relationship. In order to help him deal with the idea, explain to him that you won't be seeing anyone else during that time. Since you are away from him over this summer, it is a good opportunity to see how you both will really feel about not being together. It sounds like you are somewhat torn, so this may help. There is a book I believe is called ';Obsessive Love'; that sounds a lot like what you're going through. It sounds like the problem stems from his expectations not being met, and because of it he becomes miserable. You aren't a mindreader. After the month, you may be in a better place to make a decision. Good Luck.Is it time to break up with him?
well u need our time.. i feel u on that! like idk like i love my girl and i can do things that she would be able to do with me.. but sometime idf rather do em alone.. its just a mental thing.. and in doing that it helps me stay calm and mantain a relationship.. like id sounds like you guys spent a lot of time togerher and then started getting used to each other and have been fighting.. maybe u guys needa stop communicating for a week er so and then start back up after that.. u dnt needa break up or go on break.. just take a break from each other..
oh no u need to let that be those are signs of control..he uses emotional hurt to let u down and then when u tell him u love him and he believes u have to have certain standards..no..plus it does seem like he has a immature mind set...he uses i love u cuz he knows u will come running back to him just so he can let u down
OMG! I have the same problem, except it's been 9months. But yeah we fight alot, and then he will end up saying ';I'm sorry, i love you'; and all of that. It's cute%26amp; i love him too, but i don't know. This happend the other night. To be honest i bet your afraid to break it, because of all the time you spent together; that's the way i feel too. Whenever we have come close to or actually broke up, he said ';We have been together for this long and your just going to end it?'; Which of course make's you feel cruel. But don't think just about how you have been together for 7months, think about how the 7months have been. Not just the bad things but think about all the time%26amp; you will know!
Good Luck :)
Chelle
first of all you need to tell your bf that if he dosnt like the way you love him then it dosnt mean you dont love him. he needs to understand this. i know from experience why his doing what his doing. your right in sayin he loves you, so if you really love him then you should also understand that if somebody dosnt love you the way you want him to, then dosnt mean he dosnt. if you do love him so much do the things he wants...thats what love is about....keeping the other happy....
ya so suck it up talk to him.....communication will get you through..tell him how you feel....tell him your problems....COMMUNICATE..my advice dont break up...love is hard to find...
That's a tough spot to be in! But i think if you have to ask yourself this question ( as well as total strangers online ) you probably already know the answer.
Someone who truly loves you wouldn't say things like ';well i have certain expectations of someone who tells me they love me';. If he really loved you as much as he says he does, he would except you for you not for what he wants you to be. He seems immature from what you say. Hopefully he'll grow out of it in time but do you really want to spend your summer constantly fighting with him?
You are 20 years old. You should be out having fun! Not worrying about your immature needy boyfriend...... in my opinion.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
I seriously pray to God every night he will break up with me so I don't have to crush his heart like mine was crushed before. I'm not that into him, but he thinks I am, simply because I'm too weak to say how I feel and I know he will completely hate me if I do-who wants to be told their girlfriend has been lying for three months every time she said ';i love you';? I just can't do that. I'm worried he'll kill himself, or become depressed, or really hate me, and I'll have to see him every single day for two more years in highschool. The thing is I rushed into this too quick. I was just getting over someone I truly loved, and it was really hard--so I gave in, and made the worse mistake of my life. Now I'm responsible for his feelings and possibly life and he thinks we're going to be together forever and I have led him on because I want his love life to be better than mine was. It's really a sick and twisted game, like I am somehow making up for everything my love life lacked by lying about my feelings and letting him live in the dreamworld I should have lived in. I can't stand this and I feel horrible writing all this but it's true, and I can't even help it. Please help me, I have no idea what to do, and now I'm worried I'm starting to like someone else. I don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be tied down like this anymore.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.
How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Here's the deal:
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
I just got over a bad break up...I dated a guy for 3 yrs and it ended badly, leaving me feeling bitter, hurt, taken for granted...
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
I seriously pray to God every night he will break up with me so I don't have to crush his heart like mine was crushed before. I'm not that into him, but he thinks I am, simply because I'm too weak to say how I feel and I know he will completely hate me if I do-who wants to be told their girlfriend has been lying for three months every time she said ';i love you';? I just can't do that. I'm worried he'll kill himself, or become depressed, or really hate me, and I'll have to see him every single day for two more years in highschool. The thing is I rushed into this too quick. I was just getting over someone I truly loved, and it was really hard--so I gave in, and made the worse mistake of my life. Now I'm responsible for his feelings and possibly life and he thinks we're going to be together forever and I have led him on because I want his love life to be better than mine was. It's really a sick and twisted game, like I am somehow making up for everything my love life lacked by lying about my feelings and letting him live in the dreamworld I should have lived in. I can't stand this and I feel horrible writing all this but it's true, and I can't even help it. Please help me, I have no idea what to do, and now I'm worried I'm starting to like someone else. I don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be tied down like this anymore.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.cyst microsoft office
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.
How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Here's the deal:
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
I just got over a bad break up...I dated a guy for 3 yrs and it ended badly, leaving me feeling bitter, hurt, taken for granted...
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
If you loved someone?
I love my fiance with all my heart more then anything. and when i have had a bad day i just want to snuggle up next to him. well im starting to think love is not enough. if im thinking that is it bad? how do you break up with someone that you love more than life itself and make them homeless. its my moms house were living in and we own two vehicles both in our name. He has no where to go his mom just got married and the guy she married wont let neal live there, and his dad lives in canada and hes a felon so he cant go there. I really love him and hes so sweet and he will be such a good dad. but ... i just feel like something isn't right and love should be happier. i always work because hes unemployed. and spend all my money on our bills then come home and do our laundry and cook dinner. i think there has to be more to a relationship this is the first man i have ever dated in my entire life. i feel like im overwhelmed with a decision i have to make and ive been with him for almost two years. hes tried getting jobs but he cant. what do i do.
im putting it in this section, because moms usually have there priorities straight and you guys are smartIf you loved someone?
I know how you feel. I feel the same way sometimes. I love my husband to death. He's stepfather to my oldest child and father to my one year old and baby to be. Sometimes though, I just cry for no reason. Sometimes I look on-line at divorce lawyers because I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I love him more than me... But sometimes you have to learn to love yourself more than you love that man. Take a step back and realize why you have your doubts. Sometimes we just don't want to face reality so we use the fact that we love someone as a reason for continuing down a miserable path. It doesn't mean that you love him any less. He is not your responsibility. I'm the pot calling the kettle black because seriously, I feel the same way. However, if I can help one person do better than me then I'll feel good. I'd never wish my unhappiness at times on anyone. I know how it feels to really be searching for an answer and really already knowing what it is. You just need to accept it and decide what to do from there. I'd imagine you've talked to him. Maybe numerous times. If nothing's changed, you have to figure out what is best for you. You haven't been in many relationships, you noted. So you are likely destined for something better. Open yourself up for that opportunity. It'll feel so different when you find someone that is everything you need and want as opposed to someone you are settling for.If you loved someone?
Its tough love give him notice to find a new place. He has it made a wife that goes to work and comes home and does all the home work and he just sits around. If I was in your shoes I would be miserable.
Never llet your self feel stuck. Every person deserves happiness.You should feel like you can't live without that person.
Before you break up with him you need to tell him how you feel and give him a chance to improve. Tell him you know it is hard for him to get a job because he is a convicted felon but that does not mean he can not do the laundry, clean the house, and cook. Relationships are hard when one person is doing everything. Let him know you feel stressed out and his help will mean the world to you. He should be able to get odd jobs but let him know he needs to do alot of work around the house while you are working.
im putting it in this section, because moms usually have there priorities straight and you guys are smartIf you loved someone?
I know how you feel. I feel the same way sometimes. I love my husband to death. He's stepfather to my oldest child and father to my one year old and baby to be. Sometimes though, I just cry for no reason. Sometimes I look on-line at divorce lawyers because I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I love him more than me... But sometimes you have to learn to love yourself more than you love that man. Take a step back and realize why you have your doubts. Sometimes we just don't want to face reality so we use the fact that we love someone as a reason for continuing down a miserable path. It doesn't mean that you love him any less. He is not your responsibility. I'm the pot calling the kettle black because seriously, I feel the same way. However, if I can help one person do better than me then I'll feel good. I'd never wish my unhappiness at times on anyone. I know how it feels to really be searching for an answer and really already knowing what it is. You just need to accept it and decide what to do from there. I'd imagine you've talked to him. Maybe numerous times. If nothing's changed, you have to figure out what is best for you. You haven't been in many relationships, you noted. So you are likely destined for something better. Open yourself up for that opportunity. It'll feel so different when you find someone that is everything you need and want as opposed to someone you are settling for.If you loved someone?
Its tough love give him notice to find a new place. He has it made a wife that goes to work and comes home and does all the home work and he just sits around. If I was in your shoes I would be miserable.
Never llet your self feel stuck. Every person deserves happiness.You should feel like you can't live without that person.
Before you break up with him you need to tell him how you feel and give him a chance to improve. Tell him you know it is hard for him to get a job because he is a convicted felon but that does not mean he can not do the laundry, clean the house, and cook. Relationships are hard when one person is doing everything. Let him know you feel stressed out and his help will mean the world to you. He should be able to get odd jobs but let him know he needs to do alot of work around the house while you are working.
How to break it off gently without it getting ugly???
How do you break up w/someone you love and have feelings for but they are just not the right one for you and you know it is gonna kill them when you do it?? B/f of 9 mos.,we live together,in 9mos there have been way too many arguements for me to keep going on like this..I think he may be bi-polar and has some issues within himself,but is a great guy and when things are good--their Great but when we argue its UGLY..and we both have bad tempers so its like we dont mix on that level..it usually ends with one of us leaving till the other calms down..but everytime he acts like a real jerk..which is often..everyday situations sometimes seem to set him off..actually i dont know what is gonna set him off.I guess i'm not used to this up n down relationship and i REALLY mean it when i tell him its over..but he wont go away..he calls,texts,shows up,pleads and begs sometimes and i usually give in and YUP here we go again--ROUND AND ROUND it seems like---HELP?????How to break it off gently without it getting ugly???
The best way to keep it from getting ugly is not to fall into the game if it gets ugly. Are you leaving or do you want him to leave?? Probably best if you leave by the sounds of your temper.
Just make a pledge not to get into the screaming match, and if he is angry and bi-polar you'll never be able to explain it to him, there aren't enough words, and you'll never get him to get it, there aren't enough words. They always want more information.
So just say your peace and leave. And you don't have to say anything about him maybe being bi polar just say all this arguing is not good for me. If he promises to change if you don't leave just tell him to call you when he does change.
Just gotta do it.........stop playing the game. And good for you for seeing the pattern.
Good luck
xxxlbHow to break it off gently without it getting ugly???
It's a cycle, and the cycle won't end. You can end it without being mean or vindictive yourself, but you can't control how he will react. You can't respond to his begging, his calls, his texts, and if he shows up, you need to ignore him. If he is displaying abusive behaviour, it is in your best interests to sever all ties with him as soon as you can. There are usually services available within a community for women trying to escape an abusive relationship but finding it difficult. I suggest looking those services up in the yellowpages or online and making use of them.
You gently tell him at the right time that the past 9 monthes have been great(just saying that is gentle not anything about arguing it may hurt his feelings a whole bunch) but I don't feel like it's working out, I like you a lot but I don't feel any sparks between us anymore....so I want to Break It Up..... Us......Up, thats what you tell him but i suggest that you stick with him, nomatter how tough it has been he may need you for some support and maybe he does still like you alot too but he may feel comfortable about his emotions with you so much that he expresses them to you even if they are yelling,arguing, anything like that, etc. If you decide to keep him than if things don't work out still after you had the talk, then still two choices remain. One: Break it Up. Or Two: Conseouling maybe he needs some professional help, so remember everyone deserves a second chance. And remember no ne is perfect. (my dads the same way he takes pills for them or atleast he used to don't remember which ones or what they are called.)
did you ever hear the saying ';things end badly or they wouldn't end'; ???
sounds like you may be bi-polar or something yourself
maybe thats why you like him
The best way to keep it from getting ugly is not to fall into the game if it gets ugly. Are you leaving or do you want him to leave?? Probably best if you leave by the sounds of your temper.
Just make a pledge not to get into the screaming match, and if he is angry and bi-polar you'll never be able to explain it to him, there aren't enough words, and you'll never get him to get it, there aren't enough words. They always want more information.
So just say your peace and leave. And you don't have to say anything about him maybe being bi polar just say all this arguing is not good for me. If he promises to change if you don't leave just tell him to call you when he does change.
Just gotta do it.........stop playing the game. And good for you for seeing the pattern.
Good luck
xxxlbHow to break it off gently without it getting ugly???
It's a cycle, and the cycle won't end. You can end it without being mean or vindictive yourself, but you can't control how he will react. You can't respond to his begging, his calls, his texts, and if he shows up, you need to ignore him. If he is displaying abusive behaviour, it is in your best interests to sever all ties with him as soon as you can. There are usually services available within a community for women trying to escape an abusive relationship but finding it difficult. I suggest looking those services up in the yellowpages or online and making use of them.
You gently tell him at the right time that the past 9 monthes have been great(just saying that is gentle not anything about arguing it may hurt his feelings a whole bunch) but I don't feel like it's working out, I like you a lot but I don't feel any sparks between us anymore....so I want to Break It Up..... Us......Up, thats what you tell him but i suggest that you stick with him, nomatter how tough it has been he may need you for some support and maybe he does still like you alot too but he may feel comfortable about his emotions with you so much that he expresses them to you even if they are yelling,arguing, anything like that, etc. If you decide to keep him than if things don't work out still after you had the talk, then still two choices remain. One: Break it Up. Or Two: Conseouling maybe he needs some professional help, so remember everyone deserves a second chance. And remember no ne is perfect. (my dads the same way he takes pills for them or atleast he used to don't remember which ones or what they are called.)
did you ever hear the saying ';things end badly or they wouldn't end'; ???
sounds like you may be bi-polar or something yourself
maybe thats why you like him
How do I break up with my boyfriend?
Okay, well i used to live in New York, and recently moved down to Arizona. My boyfriend lives up in New York though, and im supposed to be coming home in a month to see him. Although, i've had some big suspicions that he has been cheating on me. People who go to school with him send me IM's and things that say ';Are you dating this guy? because he's been hooking up with so and so.'; and i've pushed them aside. Recently, one of the girls that someone said my boyfriend was cheating on me with added me to myspace and said that nothing was going on..blah blah blahh.
She does myspace survey's that tell a different story.
says she hangs out with him, kisses him, blah, blah blah. but it could be someone with the same name, but i doubt it. His grandma said that he has a girl named Kayla over alot, too. (thats the name of the girl who sent me the myspace message)
ANYWAY, my friends hate that im still involved with him.
and tell me i need to break up with him.
i feel like i love him...but...i really think he's cheating on me.
I want to end it, before i end up getting hurt..
but i dont want to hurt him.
how do i break up with him?
What do i say?
he's a sweet talker to.
how do i not fall for the ';but babe's'; and what not..How do I break up with my boyfriend?
Hey @$$hole
I'm fed up with you cheating on me.
Stop bullsh*tting me.
Are you cheating on me or not?
She does myspace survey's that tell a different story.
says she hangs out with him, kisses him, blah, blah blah. but it could be someone with the same name, but i doubt it. His grandma said that he has a girl named Kayla over alot, too. (thats the name of the girl who sent me the myspace message)
ANYWAY, my friends hate that im still involved with him.
and tell me i need to break up with him.
i feel like i love him...but...i really think he's cheating on me.
I want to end it, before i end up getting hurt..
but i dont want to hurt him.
how do i break up with him?
What do i say?
he's a sweet talker to.
how do i not fall for the ';but babe's'; and what not..How do I break up with my boyfriend?
Hey @$$hole
I'm fed up with you cheating on me.
Stop bullsh*tting me.
Are you cheating on me or not?
How do I cope with a break up?
he quit going out to get drunk. He quit smoking cigs. He told me he wanted to be healthy for us so we could live a long life together. I had never been more proud of someone in my life. For the next couple months, the relationship was going great. Until I made the decision to be home schooled for my 10th grade year. The reason being was 1) I couldn't handle the stress of fighting 20 kids over the teacher's attention. 2) It would be able to give my boyfriend and I the time we needed to spend with each other. Taking the risk to be home schooled, meant maybe not having as many friends. I've lost a lot of friends due to my mouth and I don't plan on fighting for them back. However, the only way I could really keep in contact with the friends I had left were though MySpace and my cell phone. Of course I had guy friends calling and texting me and that's when Jeremy (the bf) started changing... He started getting needy. Being obsessive. Being posessive. And that lead to being controlling. Eventually, he ended up consuming all of my time. (my fault) but this chased my friends away. And the few friends I had left, were guy friends. And he eventually wanted to take it as far as telling me not to talk to any boys AT ALL. I'm not the type of girl to be controlled. I'm very independant. But Jeremy didn't talk to girls. By choice. He felt like ';i was the only girl he needed in his life'; so I thought to myself, ';why not? he's doing that for me. i don't need any boys in my life but him.'; but even after i stopped talking to boys, he got WORSE. everyday he'd ask ';who are you texting? who's calling you? are they cute? do you like them? do they like you? do you wanna be with them? are they sexier then me?'; and it got OUT OF HAND. Basically, we had broken up on and off the first 6 months because of his insecurities. If he can't love and accept himself, how in the world is he going to love me emotionally and mentally like I should be loved? So I waited it out, thinking that he'd change for me. Thinking it would get better. He just got worse. Part of me feels like by me breaking up with him, and then him begging for me back, it might have given him a reason to think it was acceptable to do it again. Well, we broke up for the last time last Thursday. And all the other break ups weren't hard because I knew I'd end up getting back together with him, I just wanted him to hurt and realize what he lost so he wouldn't do it again. This time is different though. He has this girl cousin. She's my age. And she's like a long lost cousin of 11 years. They just got in contact again. I'm guessing he went and told her the problems we were having and she ended up calling and texting me mean things because Jeremy likes to only tell one side of the story. Anyway, I fussed her out and she ran to Jeremy saying ';If you go back out with her, don't come crying to me if she hurts you again'; and Jeremy freaked out and took her saying that as ';If you go out with her, I won't talk to you at all'; so he ended up texing and calling me allllll day saying ';I love you Rachel. I do. But that's my family. she doesn't want me to get hurt. i lost her for 11 years. i dont wanna loose her again'; so i FLIPPED OUT. After everything I've risked for him. After everything I threw away for him. He's going to do this to me? So anyway, I cut off all communication from him three days ago but I ended up caving in and talking to him. He just kept going on about how much he loves me and would choose me over anyone anyday and how he wants me back'; well... then i started ';talk talking'; to him again to see where it would get us. but he kept lying to me about little things having to do with her. he kept trying to hide me from her so she wouldn't be mad at him. This is what makes me mad. I feel like the relationship is RUINED because he's letting his cousin dictate OUR relationship. Idk what to do. He left Friday to go to her house for the weekend for her birthday party and he hasn't texted me since 6pm last night. Which is NOTTT like him at all to ignore me... He's supposed to come home Sunday night but idk what to do or even think. I've never been this upset over a break up in my life. I've never cried this hard. I've sat in my room, crying, rocking back and fourth for hours just sitting in one place. I've eaten and slept very little. I feel like I'm going into mental chaos. What should I do? Why is he not responding me? I want to believe it's because his phone died. But idk what to think. Maybe his cousin took his phone because she didn't want him texting me at all on her birthday weekend. Maybe she's concinving him that he doesn't need me. Maybe she's putting all these thoughts into his head and maybe she's told him if he even TALKS to me, she'll stop talking to him... I'm flipping out. He's the first serious boyfriend I've ever had. The only one I've seriously shared everything with. How do I get through this? Part of me wants to be with him, but it's going to hurt because if he cHow do I cope with a break up?
cope by journaling...
you're off to a good start...How do I cope with a break up?
Well you can try that magic of making up thing.. I did it and it worked for me.. Just a thought..cyst microsoft office
cope by journaling...
you're off to a good start...How do I cope with a break up?
Well you can try that magic of making up thing.. I did it and it worked for me.. Just a thought..
Re: Bail-out; should Bush just shut up, and let someone else fix what he helped to break?
';...President Bush warned Tuesday that failing to pass a financial rescue plan would bring severe consequences to the U.S. economy. ';Congress must act,'; he declared in an appeal that both presidential candidates echoed. ...'
Considering that it was Republican senators who killed the bill (which McCain supported, though he did not seem to have the leadership necessary to get his own party on line with a bill he supported)...
and considering that most people believe nowadays that the truth is the opposite of anything Bush says, due to repeated ';shock and awe'; type fear-mongering, later shown to be bogus (ex. ';give me the power to invade Iraq, because of of the imminent threat from their weapons of mass destruction, according to these cartoon pictures we have!'; ';Give me the power to spy on people without a court warrant, so I can silence my opponents if they sleep with a hooker or look at pornography, I mean, so I can protect you from terrorist attacks... I need this power now, or we could have another attack! Because of 9/11! Agree with me, or you support the terrorists!'; ';Let me torture people, so they will confirm my story, I mean, so we can prevent future attacks... Do it now, because we are in great peril, if you don't give me this power, now! Now! Now!';
People see a pattern, and smell the b.s., don't you think? More than 80% of Americans thought the country was headed in the wrong direction, even before all of this market doo-doo hit the fan.. Can this bail-out not wait until after the election? I mean, it's only two months away... And if it can't, then will the right-wingers finally admit that banks and corporations left free to run amok as they please will NOT provide a sustainable world or society for anyone? That some level of well thought-out government and regulations and social programs is necessary for a sustainable society? Corporations, designated as ';persons'; on paper, legally, have more rights and freedoms than actual people do. But they exist for the bottom line only, and corporations don't care about the air you breathe, or the water you drink, you know what I'm saying? I'm not advocating pure communism, I'm just saying, as the fore-fathers said ';Government by the people, for the people.'; Maybe 'socialism' is not such a bad thing, I mean socialist countries in Scandinavia and elsewhere actually have a better overall standard of living than in the USA, over all, even if they pay more for gas, and there is still room for a (regulated) market in those countries. I mean, corporations, with their status as 'legal persons' and 'limited liability' were not around at the time of the founding fathers, correct me if I'm wrong... (if you can, watch the documentary ';The Corporation'; you will see, that in the way a corporation behaves, if it were an actual human being (or ';person,'; as per the law) it would be diagnosed as a sociopath or psychopath, according to the American Psychiatrists' Diagnostic Manual). Is this the kind of force that you want to decide how society is run? I mean, really?
http://www.thecorporation.com/
At any rate, if a massive tax-payer bail-out of these companies (along with their CEO's) is truly necessary to keep ';this sucker'; from going down, as George W. Bush recently put it, referring to the entire world economy, shouldn't he just shut his goddam mouth, and let people who have a clue sort out the mess he has helped to create?
Just asking.
p.s. I might give 10 pts. to anyone who can tell me the mathematical formula that they used to come up with the 700 billion dollar figure for Paulson to play with to help his buddies on Wall Street ...
Re: Bail-out; should Bush just shut up, and let someone else fix what he helped to break?
Bush said the economy was good one day before the collapse and McCain said it was alright one day after the collapse. To me both of them are either stupid or didn't have any economic knowledge.Re: Bail-out; should Bush just shut up, and let someone else fix what he helped to break?
Bush! Bush didn't cause this. This started with the Clinton Administration .
Bush cannot exactly 'fix' the economic situation. It has been skewed by the congress with underhanded dealings that are 'hidden' from entering into the 'picture'. Namely, 2/3's of the congressmen have been accepting BRIBES from Freddie and Fannie. Over $200,000,000 has been funneled to congressmen to 'grease the wheels' from the banks. How can Bush 'fix' a crooked mess like that? Those congressmen, starting with Dobbs and Franks should be placed in PRISON for the duration of the economic mess and PAY BACK the BRIBE money also.
Considering that it was Republican senators who killed the bill (which McCain supported, though he did not seem to have the leadership necessary to get his own party on line with a bill he supported)...
and considering that most people believe nowadays that the truth is the opposite of anything Bush says, due to repeated ';shock and awe'; type fear-mongering, later shown to be bogus (ex. ';give me the power to invade Iraq, because of of the imminent threat from their weapons of mass destruction, according to these cartoon pictures we have!'; ';Give me the power to spy on people without a court warrant, so I can silence my opponents if they sleep with a hooker or look at pornography, I mean, so I can protect you from terrorist attacks... I need this power now, or we could have another attack! Because of 9/11! Agree with me, or you support the terrorists!'; ';Let me torture people, so they will confirm my story, I mean, so we can prevent future attacks... Do it now, because we are in great peril, if you don't give me this power, now! Now! Now!';
People see a pattern, and smell the b.s., don't you think? More than 80% of Americans thought the country was headed in the wrong direction, even before all of this market doo-doo hit the fan.. Can this bail-out not wait until after the election? I mean, it's only two months away... And if it can't, then will the right-wingers finally admit that banks and corporations left free to run amok as they please will NOT provide a sustainable world or society for anyone? That some level of well thought-out government and regulations and social programs is necessary for a sustainable society? Corporations, designated as ';persons'; on paper, legally, have more rights and freedoms than actual people do. But they exist for the bottom line only, and corporations don't care about the air you breathe, or the water you drink, you know what I'm saying? I'm not advocating pure communism, I'm just saying, as the fore-fathers said ';Government by the people, for the people.'; Maybe 'socialism' is not such a bad thing, I mean socialist countries in Scandinavia and elsewhere actually have a better overall standard of living than in the USA, over all, even if they pay more for gas, and there is still room for a (regulated) market in those countries. I mean, corporations, with their status as 'legal persons' and 'limited liability' were not around at the time of the founding fathers, correct me if I'm wrong... (if you can, watch the documentary ';The Corporation'; you will see, that in the way a corporation behaves, if it were an actual human being (or ';person,'; as per the law) it would be diagnosed as a sociopath or psychopath, according to the American Psychiatrists' Diagnostic Manual). Is this the kind of force that you want to decide how society is run? I mean, really?
http://www.thecorporation.com/
At any rate, if a massive tax-payer bail-out of these companies (along with their CEO's) is truly necessary to keep ';this sucker'; from going down, as George W. Bush recently put it, referring to the entire world economy, shouldn't he just shut his goddam mouth, and let people who have a clue sort out the mess he has helped to create?
Just asking.
p.s. I might give 10 pts. to anyone who can tell me the mathematical formula that they used to come up with the 700 billion dollar figure for Paulson to play with to help his buddies on Wall Street ...
Re: Bail-out; should Bush just shut up, and let someone else fix what he helped to break?
Bush said the economy was good one day before the collapse and McCain said it was alright one day after the collapse. To me both of them are either stupid or didn't have any economic knowledge.Re: Bail-out; should Bush just shut up, and let someone else fix what he helped to break?
Bush! Bush didn't cause this. This started with the Clinton Administration .
Bush cannot exactly 'fix' the economic situation. It has been skewed by the congress with underhanded dealings that are 'hidden' from entering into the 'picture'. Namely, 2/3's of the congressmen have been accepting BRIBES from Freddie and Fannie. Over $200,000,000 has been funneled to congressmen to 'grease the wheels' from the banks. How can Bush 'fix' a crooked mess like that? Those congressmen, starting with Dobbs and Franks should be placed in PRISON for the duration of the economic mess and PAY BACK the BRIBE money also.
Confused.. torn.. someone help..?
Ok it's a really long story but I'll try to make this short. My ex is still in love with me and I'm still in love with him. We went out (long distance) for 3 years on and off. We are still talking now but I've been with my current boyfriend now for 2 years it will be in June.. I told him I love him and always will. I still do but it seems that love is different now, I love him more than a friend but not as much as a huge relationship but I have in the past other than the last several months. I hate hurting people so I guess that's why I just stuck with him because I didn't want to hurt him.. but if I don't let him down now.. I might regret it later on in life. The only thing is I live in Alabama and my ex lives in Cali and all my friends and family are here I'm worried about them too because I'd probably be moving out there with him if I do choose him. I know this seems kind of obvious but how do you break-up with someone after being with them for that amount of time saying you won't leave them.. then you do..? I even got him a promise ring.. and he got me one after 6 months of being together. It was wonderful our relationship but that's not how it is now. I kind of wish it was but I still love my ex way more and he's always loved me.. he hasn't been with anyone since we broke up and refuses to be with anyone but me. I'm only 18 about to be 19, boyfriend now is 22 and my ex is like 20 about to be 21. Age shouldn't matter just throwing that in there. I just know my boyfriend is going to cry when and if I break-up with him.. what should I do..?Confused.. torn.. someone help..?
Well I know all too well that it is hard to just give up someone you are in love with. In all honesty if you are in love with your ex then you should be with him. Your current boyfriend maybe end up hurt but if you don't be with the one you truly want to be with, the one you will hurt is yourself in the end. Just be honest with your boyfriend its all you really can do.
Well I know all too well that it is hard to just give up someone you are in love with. In all honesty if you are in love with your ex then you should be with him. Your current boyfriend maybe end up hurt but if you don't be with the one you truly want to be with, the one you will hurt is yourself in the end. Just be honest with your boyfriend its all you really can do.
IS HE TRYING TO BREAK UP.......Please answer I will answer yours?
We have been together a year, he has always played the touph roll, never letting himself get to emotional so that is normal. We got ';closer'; a couple of months ago, and he was being really sweet and seemed to really be enjoying himself. Latley he has been more distant(he works out of town during the week, and comes home on the weekends) he hasn't been really texting as much, calling as much, and when we do talk he almost seems ';tired'; all the time.So as a result of this I have been over talking if you will about how he feels, if he is happy, what he wants blah blah blah just to protect myself you know. This has only made us more weird and distant. But when he comes home on the weekends we seem to be just fine. I had one of these conversations 2 times last week:( i know BAD, so it has been weird all week, but he told me the second time we talked that ';I'm not going anywhere';. Would someone say this if they didn't want to be with you? Oh and he has told me a couple of times that I am trying to hard, to just let it flow. But I am just trying to make it good again you know! Do you think he wants to break up and just feels bad b/c me and my son live at his house? Please help what can I do?IS HE TRYING TO BREAK UP.......Please answer I will answer yours?
Are you quite sure that he is not seeing someone else? My ex called me all the time and said ';love you'; and ';everything will be ok'; every time that he called. This was prier to finding out the truth about him.IS HE TRYING TO BREAK UP.......Please answer I will answer yours?
God men are so annoying! Why don't they just spit it out and say what the issue is??? You ask them and they still will not say. If I had to guess (based on the wording of your question) I would say that your questioning of him is annoying him and making him feel detached from you. Are you sure you are listening to his response and not answering for him? Are you coming across as needy? My advice would be to retract a little bit, be a bit cooler and don't ask so many questions for a while. If that doesn't work try another tack. Once you have retracted a bit and got some equality back into the mix just say that something feels different. At the end of the day if he wants to say something he will have to say it wont he? Women are not mind readers after all... He has said you are trying too hard so don't try so hard. Listen to the little comments there is usually more to it than they express. Just my opinion
Are you quite sure that he is not seeing someone else? My ex called me all the time and said ';love you'; and ';everything will be ok'; every time that he called. This was prier to finding out the truth about him.IS HE TRYING TO BREAK UP.......Please answer I will answer yours?
God men are so annoying! Why don't they just spit it out and say what the issue is??? You ask them and they still will not say. If I had to guess (based on the wording of your question) I would say that your questioning of him is annoying him and making him feel detached from you. Are you sure you are listening to his response and not answering for him? Are you coming across as needy? My advice would be to retract a little bit, be a bit cooler and don't ask so many questions for a while. If that doesn't work try another tack. Once you have retracted a bit and got some equality back into the mix just say that something feels different. At the end of the day if he wants to say something he will have to say it wont he? Women are not mind readers after all... He has said you are trying too hard so don't try so hard. Listen to the little comments there is usually more to it than they express. Just my opinion
How do i break up or leave my CRAZY boyfriend?
okay so we've been together for 11 months now. and i want out i wanted out a month ago atleast. there were some complications with my parents and i ended up moving in with him at his parents house. sounds lame so far right. (i'm 24 he's 25). so i felt like he was all i had at the time again stupid. i had and have friends never move in with a boyfriend only fiancee's. so anyways, we have only spent like 4 days or nights apart in these 11 months not healthy because whenever i wanted to go and do something withOUT him he would just tell me no and want to know why he couldn't come and no that i couldn't go. i didn't understand then that it was because he didn't trust me because he's stupid. he gets pissed and mad if someone tells him he has a beautiful or hot girlfriend. if i want to stay somewhere or go to a bar i never have a good enough reason for him not to come too. so i just won't go. i have no fun going out with him anywhere other than maybe somewhere i don't know anyone. if we go to the club where we both know many people. and if i go to talk to someone it's me running off when were there to spend time with i guess just each other. when how is that possible with all of our friends there too? and if i dance with my best friend well i better dance more with him after or he thinks too into it. oh yea and he has parents who really arn't there for him they know he needs help but don't act on it. and he needs a ride to work and from work. because he was stupid and got tickets and didn't pay them and drivers responsibility fees. so he has no license but he will in 14 days as long as he keeps paying Secretary of State. so i'm the only way he has to work. but i work too. i work from 9am to 6 pm. he work from 3:30 pm to 9pm-12am, we never know what time he gets off. then wants to spend time with me and i cant stay up late and huffs and puffs when i start falling asleep. he calls me every break and lunch he has. i want him to leave me alone i broke up with him on sunday and because he started calling me a liar; that i wouldn't pick him up from work cause i said i would but found him another ride) i answered my phone and stayed on to see if someone could get him before he walked into traffic, since he threatened to. so i got roped back to give him another chance but i moved out with my friends which he thinks i'm at my parents because i don't want to deal with his childish yelling. he called me today at work HYSTERICAL because my best friend who i live with now posted online she was happy i was living with her now. so i lied and said i didn't know why she put that. to calm him down. his parents are behind me on living my life i'm young i feel physically sick i wake up with sore teeth from grinding them i get like 3 hours of sleep the past two nights. all he does is suggest why don't you do this or is you do this you should do this or if i do one this from his suggestion more than three times he says why don't you do always do this. like call him baby or babe instead of something sexy. or he gets up set if i dont' say i miss you or if i say i love you in the wrong tone. he just whines and threatens that he's gunna lose his job and get kicked out and end up back in the hospital. i took all his knives from him and gave them to his dad he's gunna freak when he learns this. my stomach is always in pain. and i was showering every other day and he's wake up when i did to go to work and ask me why i showered without him and why did i wash my hair everyday. what do i do? should i let him destroy himself? because i know if i give in to this i will not be here on this planet. i don't know how much more i can take. and he said he felt used because i moved in with him but now i'm not, something stupid like that. and everyother time i tried to leave he would just tell me no. well scream it. and my reasons were never good enough for me too leave. like i'm the crazy one here. i mean i am for staying this long. i'm tired of being his mother. he would call me up at work and get pissed over something he read online and like i had something to do with someone elses posts. or get upset because in my myspace profile i don't have a picture of both of us happy together as my main profile pic. we are not married. i don't want to marry him ever. but if i just stop contact i don't know what will happen. so again PLEASE someone help out there. thank youHow do i break up or leave my CRAZY boyfriend?
Just move out.How do i break up or leave my CRAZY boyfriend?
Well, you have some controlling boyfriend there. This guy is a perfect example of someone that you have to really quit while you're ahead. If you stay with him, it's only a matter of time before you're miserable and depressed and maybe suicidal. I know its extreme but it does happen in these relationships. This guy is a complete bummer...you know it and I know it. But you fail to realize that you're wasting your time with him. Controlling guys ALWAYS make some kind of suicide threats when they're about to break up...its their way of resorting to extreme measures when they lose control.
I don't see how you can even be around him. I mean, he gets mad when other ppl call you beautiful or hot? Isn't that a compliment to him as well as you? And, what's the point of going anywhere if you HAVE to stay by his side? He obviously believes that you both share one life.
Look, I know you would feel like crap if you broke up with him and he did something to himself but the plain fact is that ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You're not responsible for what he does. The truth is that he is a terrible bf and you have NO CHOICE but to leave him (he's already driven you away once). Hell, you're only with him now because he basically talked you into it (which is a clear sign to break up, if you have to be talked into a relationship). He seems extremely selfish and theres gonna be a day where all that pent up anger and frustration you had for him is just gonna blow.
Honestly, I think you need to tell him the truth about what he's doing. He needs to know that you or any other woman will stand up for that crap. He needs to get his s**t together before he can have any kind of relationship. You deserve so much better than him...you both need to realize that.
Just move out.How do i break up or leave my CRAZY boyfriend?
Well, you have some controlling boyfriend there. This guy is a perfect example of someone that you have to really quit while you're ahead. If you stay with him, it's only a matter of time before you're miserable and depressed and maybe suicidal. I know its extreme but it does happen in these relationships. This guy is a complete bummer...you know it and I know it. But you fail to realize that you're wasting your time with him. Controlling guys ALWAYS make some kind of suicide threats when they're about to break up...its their way of resorting to extreme measures when they lose control.
I don't see how you can even be around him. I mean, he gets mad when other ppl call you beautiful or hot? Isn't that a compliment to him as well as you? And, what's the point of going anywhere if you HAVE to stay by his side? He obviously believes that you both share one life.
Look, I know you would feel like crap if you broke up with him and he did something to himself but the plain fact is that ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You're not responsible for what he does. The truth is that he is a terrible bf and you have NO CHOICE but to leave him (he's already driven you away once). Hell, you're only with him now because he basically talked you into it (which is a clear sign to break up, if you have to be talked into a relationship). He seems extremely selfish and theres gonna be a day where all that pent up anger and frustration you had for him is just gonna blow.
Honestly, I think you need to tell him the truth about what he's doing. He needs to know that you or any other woman will stand up for that crap. He needs to get his s**t together before he can have any kind of relationship. You deserve so much better than him...you both need to realize that.
How to let someone know you are interested?
When my gf broke up with me three months ago, she said she might be interested in working things out in a few weeks or months.
I know that she has been seeing someone else since we broke up, but at the same time, she hasn't done much to finalize our relationship. For example we still have a joint checking account, live together and buy things together and have all of our bills together. We aren't physically involved though.
What is a good way to ask her if she has thought about getting back together without seeming pushy?How to let someone know you are interested?
close the checking account .... find a new place to live and take the bills outta your name .... i know its hard but she'll realize youre not a backup!!How to let someone know you are interested?
Just tell her that you still want to try things. Because I don't know about her, but I'm not a sign language expert, and I don't take ';signs'; too well.
if I were you, I'd just tell her and ask her if she would like to try things again.
There's nothing that you can do to make it all better instantly, you have to be abrupt.
I know that she has been seeing someone else since we broke up, but at the same time, she hasn't done much to finalize our relationship. For example we still have a joint checking account, live together and buy things together and have all of our bills together. We aren't physically involved though.
What is a good way to ask her if she has thought about getting back together without seeming pushy?How to let someone know you are interested?
close the checking account .... find a new place to live and take the bills outta your name .... i know its hard but she'll realize youre not a backup!!How to let someone know you are interested?
Just tell her that you still want to try things. Because I don't know about her, but I'm not a sign language expert, and I don't take ';signs'; too well.
if I were you, I'd just tell her and ask her if she would like to try things again.
There's nothing that you can do to make it all better instantly, you have to be abrupt.
My bf and i keep breaking up and getting back together only to break up over the same things..what should i do?
okay so i have been on and off with my boyfriend for about 3 years. the past year or so has been really tough. it seems like we fight all the time over stupid little things. i guess i should just start from the beginning. first off hes a gemini and im a picses, if that helps. it wasnt til about december of 08 that we actually started getting serious, you know taking about moving in together, having kids, getting married....that sort of thing. i have a lot of guy friends and he has a lot of girl friends. it started on new years 08 i had gotten dropped off by one of my guy friends at my bf friends house(where he was, he invited me to the new years party) well he got mad that another guy dropped me off, understandable. but then he goes and calls up his ex so i figured hes not into me so i made out with a guy at the party, he got really mad and we;ve been fighting about it ever since, literally he brings it up all the time. then from there i think he let the new years party incident go, and we started talking again. well every other week he would have a new excuse to break up with me...rather it be he just wants to be friends to hes got commitment issuses. this goes on and on til about june 09 and i can never tell if hes serious with me. one day hes like i want to marry you then the next day he says he hates me and wants me out of his life. we break up for about 2 months in june( usually we break up and argue til we come to a equal and ';work things out '; and just get back together) this time we actually broke up for 2 months without talking. then he said he was just being an *** trying to make me learn. when he and i break up he always goes back to his little girl friends so i figure ill do the same and move on, but then apparently im at a wrong by doing that. a guy friend of mine had messaged me over myspace and i replied and deleted the message cuz i knew my bf would get mad. ( the message wasnt bad, i wasnt flirting, the guy wasnt flirting with me) he just doesnt like me talking to ANY guys. not even ones ive been just friends with since before i met him. okay so we keep breaking up cuz he says im keeping these guys around which i do not beleive is true. im just a really nice person and i knew this guy liked me and i didnt want to hurt his feelings so i tried to come up with many different ways to get him out of my life without actually being a ***** about it. so i told him i got my phone turned off. i deleted him from my myspace. and eventually i straight up told him to quit talking to me.( this is all the guy friend, not my bf) well my bf finds the message in my myspace trash and gets mad and breaks up with me. i guess i kind of understand where he is coming from. point is we fight a lot over things that have happened in the past, things i thought he got over and let go of. i feel like any time we are doing better he just goes and brings up things from my past so we'll fight. what does that mean? just last night he wont me up in the middle of the night and asked who someone was on my comments on myspace, someone i use to talk to and i was just gonna say hey see how they were ( because he was talking to his little girl friends again) he flipped out and broke up with me again. i dont know if its all the stress thats causing us to fight or what. his dad just got diagnosed with cancer about 8 months ago and they thought he was getting better but it spread and now they only gave him 8 months to live. my bf is also having a hard time getting into the air force because of some trouble hes gotten into in his past. he cant find a job and his gma just died. i just want to know what should i do about this whole situation? should i keep fighting for our relationship or let him go and move on. i love this boy to death and i want nothing more than to be with him til the day i die but i cant stand him bringing up my past every other day, and ive told him how much it bothers me. ive quit talking to all my friends and he says i cant talk to any guys but he can talk to any girl he wants! i just am clueless as to whats going through his mind....WHAT SHOULD I DO?My bf and i keep breaking up and getting back together only to break up over the same things..what should i do?
Agh! Too much information - sorry, but if it is all getting to you this much - leave him and move on! It sounds ike it is doing your head in and you will end up ill with no friends.My bf and i keep breaking up and getting back together only to break up over the same things..what should i do?
Leave him alone. Seriously. It's not healthy.
tldr
tbh sweetie, you cheated on him at this party, he'll always remember but tell him if he chooses to go back into a relationship with you, he's gotta forgive, maybe not forget but he has to let yous both put it behind yous, you sound like you love him alot and tbh, i'm sure he loves you too. but you can't keep going on like this, its not healthy. he's under stress with his dad and grandma yano? but he shiuld be able to talk to you about it not take it out on you, sit down and tell him he's gotta stop this or you'll be gone forever, GOODLUCK!!xxxxxxxx
I didn't read past the question.
But if you guys are repeatedly breaking up over the same thing, then stop getting back together.
Yes, I read the entire thing. Please, paragraphs are a part of written language for a reason, I'll be one of the few who actually takes the time to read this. Sorry
You say you understand how he could get mad that another guy brought you to a party and dropped you off, but then you make out with another guy that night cause he spoke to one of his ex'es? I could see how someone would lose trust in you. You have alot of of guy friends and he doesnt like it, given what you did, can't really say I blame him.
You are trying to hid things from him, cause why? You're affraid he will get mad, but by doing that he finds out and gets even more angry. Can't say I blame him.
He should be the one kicking you to the curb for good IMO. Do him a favor and take your drama else where before you drive the guy crazy. (not to mention the guy has a ton of things going on in his life grandma just died father has cancer, you're makeing him nuts)
The below poster, ';the past is the past';... It was only freakin a few months ago, not like ancient history we're talking about. Trust is earned not given, you lost that, and YOU have to earn it back. Id say that takes longer than 6 months, 4 if you subtract the 2 months you were broken up...geeezzz
i would talk to your bf and tell him how this situation is making you feel. It seems like he is isolating you from the people you care about and can't seem to accept that you're capable of handling friendship with other guys and not taking it too far. I would break up with him for real if he won't listen to you or gets mad when you try to explain. It is not worth being in a relationship where you are constantly being put down and guilt for having guy friends. I hope this helped and you can get a more deserving bf :)
i can totally put myself in your position except its the other way around. i cant seem to let go of the past with my bf. like you, we are always on and off....since hs. look, all im saying is, you have to explain to him that the past is the PAST. its hard to let things go. trust me, im the same way! its just like your bf, i can let the past take the best of me and push me to break up with my bf every time i think of the bad things he did. he said he's sorry and its not like that anymore. he is right, its just im the one having trouble letting things go. what saves our relationship every time is the question ';do i still want to be with him?'; see what you bf doesnt understand is that when he breaks up with you he needs to do it because he TRULY doesnt want to be with you. you get what im saying? and i think you should explain that to him. All the break up to make up stuff is ridiculous especially if its over the same topic. trust me, i know. he needs to understand that getting over things takes a long time. if the love is strong in your relationship, you two can learn to get over this phase and get better. by the way of the looks of it, you love each other a lot, so WORK IT OUT! im positively sure if you sit down and have this convo with him he can understand where your coming from. you need to let him know your not down with this make up to break up sh**, Its either we're in this together working or leaving it alone. plain and simple. good luck girl :)cyst skin color
Agh! Too much information - sorry, but if it is all getting to you this much - leave him and move on! It sounds ike it is doing your head in and you will end up ill with no friends.My bf and i keep breaking up and getting back together only to break up over the same things..what should i do?
Leave him alone. Seriously. It's not healthy.
tldr
tbh sweetie, you cheated on him at this party, he'll always remember but tell him if he chooses to go back into a relationship with you, he's gotta forgive, maybe not forget but he has to let yous both put it behind yous, you sound like you love him alot and tbh, i'm sure he loves you too. but you can't keep going on like this, its not healthy. he's under stress with his dad and grandma yano? but he shiuld be able to talk to you about it not take it out on you, sit down and tell him he's gotta stop this or you'll be gone forever, GOODLUCK!!xxxxxxxx
I didn't read past the question.
But if you guys are repeatedly breaking up over the same thing, then stop getting back together.
Yes, I read the entire thing. Please, paragraphs are a part of written language for a reason, I'll be one of the few who actually takes the time to read this. Sorry
You say you understand how he could get mad that another guy brought you to a party and dropped you off, but then you make out with another guy that night cause he spoke to one of his ex'es? I could see how someone would lose trust in you. You have alot of of guy friends and he doesnt like it, given what you did, can't really say I blame him.
You are trying to hid things from him, cause why? You're affraid he will get mad, but by doing that he finds out and gets even more angry. Can't say I blame him.
He should be the one kicking you to the curb for good IMO. Do him a favor and take your drama else where before you drive the guy crazy. (not to mention the guy has a ton of things going on in his life grandma just died father has cancer, you're makeing him nuts)
The below poster, ';the past is the past';... It was only freakin a few months ago, not like ancient history we're talking about. Trust is earned not given, you lost that, and YOU have to earn it back. Id say that takes longer than 6 months, 4 if you subtract the 2 months you were broken up...geeezzz
i would talk to your bf and tell him how this situation is making you feel. It seems like he is isolating you from the people you care about and can't seem to accept that you're capable of handling friendship with other guys and not taking it too far. I would break up with him for real if he won't listen to you or gets mad when you try to explain. It is not worth being in a relationship where you are constantly being put down and guilt for having guy friends. I hope this helped and you can get a more deserving bf :)
i can totally put myself in your position except its the other way around. i cant seem to let go of the past with my bf. like you, we are always on and off....since hs. look, all im saying is, you have to explain to him that the past is the PAST. its hard to let things go. trust me, im the same way! its just like your bf, i can let the past take the best of me and push me to break up with my bf every time i think of the bad things he did. he said he's sorry and its not like that anymore. he is right, its just im the one having trouble letting things go. what saves our relationship every time is the question ';do i still want to be with him?'; see what you bf doesnt understand is that when he breaks up with you he needs to do it because he TRULY doesnt want to be with you. you get what im saying? and i think you should explain that to him. All the break up to make up stuff is ridiculous especially if its over the same topic. trust me, i know. he needs to understand that getting over things takes a long time. if the love is strong in your relationship, you two can learn to get over this phase and get better. by the way of the looks of it, you love each other a lot, so WORK IT OUT! im positively sure if you sit down and have this convo with him he can understand where your coming from. you need to let him know your not down with this make up to break up sh**, Its either we're in this together working or leaving it alone. plain and simple. good luck girl :)
Messy situation: My boyfriend of 8 years slept with someone else while we were broken up. What should I do?
I posted a blog on Myspace saying how much I loved my boyfriend and how great he was. I then got a comment from one of his closest girl friends, whom I thought he had a brother-sister type relationship with, saying that he hasn't been completely honest with me. I pursued this through e-mail and, long story short, she told me that they had sex when he moved out last August.
He had moved down to Denver (I live in Greeley,) to go to school and take advantage of better job opportunities. As a side note, he blamed me for all of our problems at the time because I had convinced him to move to Greeley while I finished school. This is why he moved back to Denver.
I told him what Kat, his ';sister,'; had said and he totally denied it. He said she was lying, that he didn't think it was her and yah yah yah. He looked me straight in the eye and said, ';I did not have sex with her, you are the only one I have been with.';
He said he was going to call her and allow me to listen to their conversation. However, I found out he created a Myspace and messaged her. I took the time to hack his account. This is not something I am proud of, but I needed to know the truth.
He did it. He had sex with her. It is all there in black an white. I confronted him. He said the decision of what to do next is up to me. He says I don't deserve this, that I am a good girl and and good girlfriend, but that he loves me and wants me to stay for purely selfish reasons. He said that he thinks I should leave because I am better than what he did to me.
I don't know what to do. We were most likely broken up, however I am not sure of the time line since he has kept this from me for so long. I think it would have been different if he had told me right away. I also know that alcohol was involved, not that it makes a difference. He still had unprotected sex with someone, who has HPV by the way, and didn't tell me for 8 months. I do not know what to do. I love him, but I don't know if I am cheating myself by staying with him.
Please help.Messy situation: My boyfriend of 8 years slept with someone else while we were broken up. What should I do?
HI, I SAY IF YOU HAVE HPV TRY TO WORK IT OUT WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU BOTH HAVE IT ...AND YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE IT TO SOMEONE NEW AND STARTING OVER IS A HARD THING TO DO WHEN YOU BEEN WITH SOMEONE FOR SO LONG...ALSO I SAY IF YOU DONT HAVE IT THEN LEAVE HIM...YOU COULD BE WITH WHOMEVER YOU LIKE ...STAY CLOSE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE NEW TO SHAR YOUR LIFE WITH...AND IF YOU STAY WITH HIM AND HE KEEPS THIS UP AND YOU FIND OUT MORE AND HE DOESNT COME AND LIVE WITH YOU LEAVE HIM SWEETIE YOU DONT NEED THAT ... YOUR BETTER OFF BY YOURSELF... GOOD LUCK IF YOU NEED TO TALK EMAIL ME BYEMessy situation: My boyfriend of 8 years slept with someone else while we were broken up. What should I do?
dont stay with him u deserve better find a guy who respects u and doesnt just go do it with girls that arent special 2 him good luck ;) p.s DUMP HIM =)
Argh, that is confusing.:P I think in one way, you could say that yes, you are better than that, you don't deserve it, he lied to you many times about important matters and kept them from you, he kind of sort of may have cheated on you. Also, in another way, you could just forgive and forget, because people do make mistakes, and if you feel that he really truly and most definitely and undeniably loves you, and you feel the same, maybe you should let it slide. Don't completely ignore it, make sure he is aware about how upset you are about these things, tell him you love him and hope he won't do stuff like this again, and hopefully he won't. And if he does, then, I guess it isn't worth the sweat.
Good luck! Hope I could help.
well weight your options. tough situation because you have to deal with the consequences, if u stay there will be no trust on ur part and arguing and probably alot of frustration. if u leave, depending on how u feel now, u will be hurt. i would leave just because once a guy does it once and is forgiven he will realize he can be forgiven again. best of luck. hang in there =)
Well he shouldn't have had to tell you about that time because you were broken up. If you had asked about sexual disease though and out of respect for your health he should have told you. The worst part is that when you confronted him he didn't tell the truth. He did nothing wrong by hiding it because it was while you were broken up but he should have been honest or at least said I am not going to answer that instead of lying.
He had moved down to Denver (I live in Greeley,) to go to school and take advantage of better job opportunities. As a side note, he blamed me for all of our problems at the time because I had convinced him to move to Greeley while I finished school. This is why he moved back to Denver.
I told him what Kat, his ';sister,'; had said and he totally denied it. He said she was lying, that he didn't think it was her and yah yah yah. He looked me straight in the eye and said, ';I did not have sex with her, you are the only one I have been with.';
He said he was going to call her and allow me to listen to their conversation. However, I found out he created a Myspace and messaged her. I took the time to hack his account. This is not something I am proud of, but I needed to know the truth.
He did it. He had sex with her. It is all there in black an white. I confronted him. He said the decision of what to do next is up to me. He says I don't deserve this, that I am a good girl and and good girlfriend, but that he loves me and wants me to stay for purely selfish reasons. He said that he thinks I should leave because I am better than what he did to me.
I don't know what to do. We were most likely broken up, however I am not sure of the time line since he has kept this from me for so long. I think it would have been different if he had told me right away. I also know that alcohol was involved, not that it makes a difference. He still had unprotected sex with someone, who has HPV by the way, and didn't tell me for 8 months. I do not know what to do. I love him, but I don't know if I am cheating myself by staying with him.
Please help.Messy situation: My boyfriend of 8 years slept with someone else while we were broken up. What should I do?
HI, I SAY IF YOU HAVE HPV TRY TO WORK IT OUT WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU BOTH HAVE IT ...AND YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE IT TO SOMEONE NEW AND STARTING OVER IS A HARD THING TO DO WHEN YOU BEEN WITH SOMEONE FOR SO LONG...ALSO I SAY IF YOU DONT HAVE IT THEN LEAVE HIM...YOU COULD BE WITH WHOMEVER YOU LIKE ...STAY CLOSE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE NEW TO SHAR YOUR LIFE WITH...AND IF YOU STAY WITH HIM AND HE KEEPS THIS UP AND YOU FIND OUT MORE AND HE DOESNT COME AND LIVE WITH YOU LEAVE HIM SWEETIE YOU DONT NEED THAT ... YOUR BETTER OFF BY YOURSELF... GOOD LUCK IF YOU NEED TO TALK EMAIL ME BYEMessy situation: My boyfriend of 8 years slept with someone else while we were broken up. What should I do?
dont stay with him u deserve better find a guy who respects u and doesnt just go do it with girls that arent special 2 him good luck ;) p.s DUMP HIM =)
Argh, that is confusing.:P I think in one way, you could say that yes, you are better than that, you don't deserve it, he lied to you many times about important matters and kept them from you, he kind of sort of may have cheated on you. Also, in another way, you could just forgive and forget, because people do make mistakes, and if you feel that he really truly and most definitely and undeniably loves you, and you feel the same, maybe you should let it slide. Don't completely ignore it, make sure he is aware about how upset you are about these things, tell him you love him and hope he won't do stuff like this again, and hopefully he won't. And if he does, then, I guess it isn't worth the sweat.
Good luck! Hope I could help.
well weight your options. tough situation because you have to deal with the consequences, if u stay there will be no trust on ur part and arguing and probably alot of frustration. if u leave, depending on how u feel now, u will be hurt. i would leave just because once a guy does it once and is forgiven he will realize he can be forgiven again. best of luck. hang in there =)
Well he shouldn't have had to tell you about that time because you were broken up. If you had asked about sexual disease though and out of respect for your health he should have told you. The worst part is that when you confronted him he didn't tell the truth. He did nothing wrong by hiding it because it was while you were broken up but he should have been honest or at least said I am not going to answer that instead of lying.
Going out with much older woman, I know it'll never work out but I can't break up. I'm in purgatory! help!!
she looks many, many years younger than her actual age and for the first few months we met, she hadn't told me how old she really was. I found out by accident one day and we decided to continue since we were ';just having fun'; and it wasn't serious. but things have a way of getting serious the longer you stay with someone, so now it doesn't feel like ';a one night stand that lasted a bit longer than normal';. it feels like a proper relationship, since we get along, have similar sense of humour, etc. we have actualy moved in together too but we're both pretending that it's just for the convenience of halving the rent and nothing more. of course, that can never be the case when two people that are involved sexualy live together. so, my question: i can't break up, can't do it. but if this keeps going we'll eventaully end up getting married and then I'll regret it later. so will she! i'm not being selfish. the age difference is too great. what do I do???Going out with much older woman, I know it'll never work out but I can't break up. I'm in purgatory! help!!
GOOD LUCKGoing out with much older woman, I know it'll never work out but I can't break up. I'm in purgatory! help!!
i think you're just afraid of commitment and the word marriage scares you to death...for me it's obvious that you are attracted to this person physically and emotionally...if not, what have you been doing with her all this time?!?!?!?...try to grow up and make up your mind...either commit fully to this relationship or break it up as soon as possible...it is not fair to make her believe you love her too if you don't
just enjoy it and stop thinking about marriages and staff like that..
you are really such a kid. you said it yourself, she's much, much older than you therefore that woman might have a lot of maturity than you when she entered the relationship. All you have to do is open your mouth and say what you really want, and that is???? Your girlfriend obviously is not a mind-reader, and you are lying to yourself and to her and the longer you play and deny the situation the harder it would be for the both of you when it will explode to a nasty ending, believe me..you are not a boy anymore so don't tag along....speak up and be man because that's one of the reason she fell in love with you..if things don't work out for her, she will cry definitely but she will get over it if she's really that mature, she should know in the first place what she's getting into when you both started it...never pretend to somebody and base your relationship just bec. you pity your partner, it will never work out..Good luck.
If you are this much concerned about her age at this stage, let her go quick and in a hurry. There's nothing worst than a slow-fade. You must not let her delude herself into thinking it's going to last. You know in your heart of hearts it will not.
if you are already thinking you will regret it later you don't love her now %26amp; you are just having fun!!
When you speak of ';many, many'; what are you talking about youngster, decades?
My friend is ten years older then her boyfriend, we know one that's fifteen years younger. I don't know what to say. Follow the fickle heart and see where it leads you to. Your going to hear comments, you going to hear something from the relatives but remember this, your the one sleeping with her, not them. Good luck.
well i'm in a reltionship were my partner is 13yrs older then me but i don't care as long as you care enough for that particular person but u need to follow your heart as well as your head follow both i works trust me because my partner and i are now married and have 3 beutiful children so i don't know if this helps you or not but good luck with it
How much older? What do you think is too great?
Barry if your not were you want to be tell the lady that its not right for you and that you are sorry that you hurt her but in all fairness you cant stay . the lady will be hurt but that is why its called breaking up.
I hope you look back one day and see that this might have been the best thing you could have done . but honestly I think you may just regret leaving her sounds like she might have been the one for you if you could have moved past the age difference.
All the best to you and the lady involved as well .
BE HONEST WITH HER .
You need to grow a set and move out.
It will only not work if you don't want it to. I met a lady that was 72 yrs old, and her bf is 55. They have been together for 20 yrs. Don't lose a good thing.
You have to find away to get out. Tell her that you have found a better living arangment. then maybe you can cut her off slowly.%26gt;
you seem to think life is a roller coaster that you had no choice in boarding and have no choice in getting off,,what are you ,,a man or mouse as they say,,grow some balls and stop making excuses for your life going where you dont want it too,,no one is going to come and end it for you,,no one is going to tell her how you really feel,,in life,if you want something you have to go and get it,,you want to end this relationship so end it,,saying you will just end up getting married isnt something you can pretend just happens overnight,,it has to be a proposal,,there has to be arrangements made,,you have to physically walk up the isle,,you dont just wake up one morning after a year or two and find yourself wed. quit with the ';i cant control my life,poor me'; routine and move your butt! end it if there is no future because she may know how you feel and be quite happy for you to stay anyway,,she is much older and may be content with her lot,,you being with her out of a kind of pity isnt good.
I hope you won't get married unless you're ready for it. You shouldn't do anything you feel pressured into doing.
If you love her, are you sure it is going to matter? DO you know how precious love is...will you be huritng if you don't find that with a younger woman?
If it is creating chaos in you mind, interfering with your values or feelings for her then...suggest you both start a more traditional ';roomies'; situation until you can move. Love=honesty and respect. SO respect her and yourself enough to tell the truth...lay out your concerns; it doesn't help that her inital age'fib' ensconced you, but you are already there.
Life is tooooooo short to spend it in limbo.
well.....age is just a numbers.....as long as your intention is pure...and you love her in the truest sense of the word...and not only sex...then.......and i guess theres no problem!!!!
I hope i am understanding this right. If i am' seems to me your all up in your own head. Sounds like you have a good thing going. Better than most. Why would you regret marrying her? that i don't get. Go with it' be glad you got it and don't worry about the age. It's hard enough to find a good person that loves you. You can throw it away if you want' If you do that will be what you regret.
too great/??? how much
with elderly lady you find all in one
so keep up
do not break her heart
you are in love with her
and you like what she is giving you
GOOD LUCKGoing out with much older woman, I know it'll never work out but I can't break up. I'm in purgatory! help!!
i think you're just afraid of commitment and the word marriage scares you to death...for me it's obvious that you are attracted to this person physically and emotionally...if not, what have you been doing with her all this time?!?!?!?...try to grow up and make up your mind...either commit fully to this relationship or break it up as soon as possible...it is not fair to make her believe you love her too if you don't
just enjoy it and stop thinking about marriages and staff like that..
you are really such a kid. you said it yourself, she's much, much older than you therefore that woman might have a lot of maturity than you when she entered the relationship. All you have to do is open your mouth and say what you really want, and that is???? Your girlfriend obviously is not a mind-reader, and you are lying to yourself and to her and the longer you play and deny the situation the harder it would be for the both of you when it will explode to a nasty ending, believe me..you are not a boy anymore so don't tag along....speak up and be man because that's one of the reason she fell in love with you..if things don't work out for her, she will cry definitely but she will get over it if she's really that mature, she should know in the first place what she's getting into when you both started it...never pretend to somebody and base your relationship just bec. you pity your partner, it will never work out..Good luck.
If you are this much concerned about her age at this stage, let her go quick and in a hurry. There's nothing worst than a slow-fade. You must not let her delude herself into thinking it's going to last. You know in your heart of hearts it will not.
if you are already thinking you will regret it later you don't love her now %26amp; you are just having fun!!
When you speak of ';many, many'; what are you talking about youngster, decades?
My friend is ten years older then her boyfriend, we know one that's fifteen years younger. I don't know what to say. Follow the fickle heart and see where it leads you to. Your going to hear comments, you going to hear something from the relatives but remember this, your the one sleeping with her, not them. Good luck.
well i'm in a reltionship were my partner is 13yrs older then me but i don't care as long as you care enough for that particular person but u need to follow your heart as well as your head follow both i works trust me because my partner and i are now married and have 3 beutiful children so i don't know if this helps you or not but good luck with it
How much older? What do you think is too great?
Barry if your not were you want to be tell the lady that its not right for you and that you are sorry that you hurt her but in all fairness you cant stay . the lady will be hurt but that is why its called breaking up.
I hope you look back one day and see that this might have been the best thing you could have done . but honestly I think you may just regret leaving her sounds like she might have been the one for you if you could have moved past the age difference.
All the best to you and the lady involved as well .
BE HONEST WITH HER .
You need to grow a set and move out.
It will only not work if you don't want it to. I met a lady that was 72 yrs old, and her bf is 55. They have been together for 20 yrs. Don't lose a good thing.
You have to find away to get out. Tell her that you have found a better living arangment. then maybe you can cut her off slowly.%26gt;
you seem to think life is a roller coaster that you had no choice in boarding and have no choice in getting off,,what are you ,,a man or mouse as they say,,grow some balls and stop making excuses for your life going where you dont want it too,,no one is going to come and end it for you,,no one is going to tell her how you really feel,,in life,if you want something you have to go and get it,,you want to end this relationship so end it,,saying you will just end up getting married isnt something you can pretend just happens overnight,,it has to be a proposal,,there has to be arrangements made,,you have to physically walk up the isle,,you dont just wake up one morning after a year or two and find yourself wed. quit with the ';i cant control my life,poor me'; routine and move your butt! end it if there is no future because she may know how you feel and be quite happy for you to stay anyway,,she is much older and may be content with her lot,,you being with her out of a kind of pity isnt good.
I hope you won't get married unless you're ready for it. You shouldn't do anything you feel pressured into doing.
If you love her, are you sure it is going to matter? DO you know how precious love is...will you be huritng if you don't find that with a younger woman?
If it is creating chaos in you mind, interfering with your values or feelings for her then...suggest you both start a more traditional ';roomies'; situation until you can move. Love=honesty and respect. SO respect her and yourself enough to tell the truth...lay out your concerns; it doesn't help that her inital age'fib' ensconced you, but you are already there.
Life is tooooooo short to spend it in limbo.
well.....age is just a numbers.....as long as your intention is pure...and you love her in the truest sense of the word...and not only sex...then.......and i guess theres no problem!!!!
I hope i am understanding this right. If i am' seems to me your all up in your own head. Sounds like you have a good thing going. Better than most. Why would you regret marrying her? that i don't get. Go with it' be glad you got it and don't worry about the age. It's hard enough to find a good person that loves you. You can throw it away if you want' If you do that will be what you regret.
too great/??? how much
with elderly lady you find all in one
so keep up
do not break her heart
you are in love with her
and you like what she is giving you
Boyfriend just broke up and is getting married to someone else tomorrow!!!! !!!!! !!!?
my cousin's boyfriend of 3 and a half years just broke up with her a couple of months ago - he had led her on, she thought they were going to get married!- but only to find out right after that he is with someone else and now she found out another big bomb - he is getting married to her tomorrow!
she is extremely devastated and i don't live in the same state as her but i still want to say something, i want to be there for her but i am left speechless!! how do you comfort someone in this situation?
thanks!Boyfriend just broke up and is getting married to someone else tomorrow!!!! !!!!! !!!?
Ok logical answer is to say: ';You're better off without him';, ';you deserve someone better';.
Bitchy girl answer to make her feel better: ';It'll never last';, ';I give them 2 months';, ';you're better off without him'; and of course: ';you're way prettier than her';.
If that doesn't cheer her up heaps of chocolate and playing ';I will survive'; will do the trick.
She'll be ok, the guys sounds like an idiot she'll realise that herself with some hindsight.Boyfriend just broke up and is getting married to someone else tomorrow!!!! !!!!! !!!?
Not much you can really do. If he found someone that quickly, she is better off without him. Good luck*
Some times guys are freaks.
Fact is, something was wrong and he bolted.
End of story.
Just be glad it's over.
she is extremely devastated and i don't live in the same state as her but i still want to say something, i want to be there for her but i am left speechless!! how do you comfort someone in this situation?
thanks!Boyfriend just broke up and is getting married to someone else tomorrow!!!! !!!!! !!!?
Ok logical answer is to say: ';You're better off without him';, ';you deserve someone better';.
Bitchy girl answer to make her feel better: ';It'll never last';, ';I give them 2 months';, ';you're better off without him'; and of course: ';you're way prettier than her';.
If that doesn't cheer her up heaps of chocolate and playing ';I will survive'; will do the trick.
She'll be ok, the guys sounds like an idiot she'll realise that herself with some hindsight.Boyfriend just broke up and is getting married to someone else tomorrow!!!! !!!!! !!!?
Not much you can really do. If he found someone that quickly, she is better off without him. Good luck*
Some times guys are freaks.
Fact is, something was wrong and he bolted.
End of story.
Just be glad it's over.
Hard break-up--should I keep my hope of getting him back? Only mature and detailed answers, please!?
I am in the deepest pain I have ever been in my life, deeper even
than when I lost a close relative. My boyfriend of 8 amazing
months broke up with my on Monday because of something I said.
He was gone on his study abroad trip in a neighboring country,
and I would call him quite a bit, never imagining a bill of $1060
for my cell phone.
Anyway, I don't pay my cell, my mom does, but
I found it unfair to have her pay for all of it, so I put down $200
of her money. I asked my boyfriend if he'd give a 5th, and he
completely refused. I told him I couldnt do it right now, since I'm
not allowed to work (mom's starting to warm up to the idea).
I thought a fifth was fair.
Anyway, with my desperation and frustration came stupidity.
I told my love that I might as well sell myself to pay the bill off.
(Keep in mind this would have been cybersex, though I had no intention of actually doing it)
He took it as a joke until I said I already had a client.
When he asked me who, I told him my ex's name, as I was talking to
him, also online. He got angry that I was talking to him in the first place, and he said ';I don't date whores';. He told me we were on break, then I asked him a few times via text
if it was a break of break-up, since I don't believe in breaks, to
me, they are bullshit. He told me we are broken up.
By the way, he never called and told me we were done, I pretty much
got it out of him.
I regret this deeply. Not a minute goes by that I wish I hadn't said
anything. I hurt him so much. He said that even though my ex
is in the Middle East, he could come back for leave, and how does
he know I wont go see him? (I explained I wouldnt, and
he'd go visit his family somewhere else anyway to no avail)
I tried to convince him not to do it, that I am so sorry and never intended
to do that, that we could work things out. He mentioned he is leaving
for military training in December, and what would happen to us?
He said he'd see me in August, since college starts again in late August, and since I don't live in the same city, he kept some of my things I need for my dorm and will return him at that time. We go to the same school and are in ROTC together.
He said ';I don't know what's going to happen in August'; and also that
we are still friends and I can call him in the Summer. Then I told him
that I'm not the only one who should call, and his reply was that
he supposes he could call as well.
I sent him a Facebook message yesterday, saying that I respect his decision, which I hope will make me seem strong after I kept asking him to reconsider. I read that a huge step in someone taking you back is to remain strong during the break-up. I don't intend to contact him for
AT LEAST a month.
I waited for him for over 3 months for his study abroad, and our relationship
had always been enviably good. He also visited me at home in a dangerous city
for two weeks. We've been through a lot, and have an amazing chemistry,
as well as sex. Not to seem conceited, but I give him something few girls can,
and he is extremely attentive and caring for my pleasure.
With the info I have added, do you think he may take me back?
Should I give up and hope sometime in the future we'll be together?
There were several things that prepared me to meet him, and I know it
was no accident. Please read all of my question and be as truthful and helpful as you can.
Much love! Best wishes to all others suffering heartbreak.Hard break-up--should I keep my hope of getting him back? Only mature and detailed answers, please!?
Breaking up is hard to do. Getting back together, is even tougher.
Over 1000 for a phone bill is insane. Why didn't you think of how much it would cost? You can't expect him to pay your bill, you are the one holding that end of the line!
The next part of your story makes you look very immature. You just can't play games with people. It's not fair. It doesn't work, and you are the one to get hurt in the end.
Why would he want to get back together with someone whom he thinks is immature and crazy, even if you aren't? You've portrayed yourself that way.
I recommend using the time he is away for some serious self searching. Grow up. When he comes back, he may see a more mature, less clingy person. Don't contact him, you'll just seem desperate.
If you are meant to get back together, you will.
I am sorry if this was harsh, or offensive. I was young once and played games, too. My heart was broken in what I thought was the most painful thing ever. Believe, me it heals, and loss can always be worse.Hard break-up--should I keep my hope of getting him back? Only mature and detailed answers, please!?
i dont know know one knows what the future holds
than when I lost a close relative. My boyfriend of 8 amazing
months broke up with my on Monday because of something I said.
He was gone on his study abroad trip in a neighboring country,
and I would call him quite a bit, never imagining a bill of $1060
for my cell phone.
Anyway, I don't pay my cell, my mom does, but
I found it unfair to have her pay for all of it, so I put down $200
of her money. I asked my boyfriend if he'd give a 5th, and he
completely refused. I told him I couldnt do it right now, since I'm
not allowed to work (mom's starting to warm up to the idea).
I thought a fifth was fair.
Anyway, with my desperation and frustration came stupidity.
I told my love that I might as well sell myself to pay the bill off.
(Keep in mind this would have been cybersex, though I had no intention of actually doing it)
He took it as a joke until I said I already had a client.
When he asked me who, I told him my ex's name, as I was talking to
him, also online. He got angry that I was talking to him in the first place, and he said ';I don't date whores';. He told me we were on break, then I asked him a few times via text
if it was a break of break-up, since I don't believe in breaks, to
me, they are bullshit. He told me we are broken up.
By the way, he never called and told me we were done, I pretty much
got it out of him.
I regret this deeply. Not a minute goes by that I wish I hadn't said
anything. I hurt him so much. He said that even though my ex
is in the Middle East, he could come back for leave, and how does
he know I wont go see him? (I explained I wouldnt, and
he'd go visit his family somewhere else anyway to no avail)
I tried to convince him not to do it, that I am so sorry and never intended
to do that, that we could work things out. He mentioned he is leaving
for military training in December, and what would happen to us?
He said he'd see me in August, since college starts again in late August, and since I don't live in the same city, he kept some of my things I need for my dorm and will return him at that time. We go to the same school and are in ROTC together.
He said ';I don't know what's going to happen in August'; and also that
we are still friends and I can call him in the Summer. Then I told him
that I'm not the only one who should call, and his reply was that
he supposes he could call as well.
I sent him a Facebook message yesterday, saying that I respect his decision, which I hope will make me seem strong after I kept asking him to reconsider. I read that a huge step in someone taking you back is to remain strong during the break-up. I don't intend to contact him for
AT LEAST a month.
I waited for him for over 3 months for his study abroad, and our relationship
had always been enviably good. He also visited me at home in a dangerous city
for two weeks. We've been through a lot, and have an amazing chemistry,
as well as sex. Not to seem conceited, but I give him something few girls can,
and he is extremely attentive and caring for my pleasure.
With the info I have added, do you think he may take me back?
Should I give up and hope sometime in the future we'll be together?
There were several things that prepared me to meet him, and I know it
was no accident. Please read all of my question and be as truthful and helpful as you can.
Much love! Best wishes to all others suffering heartbreak.Hard break-up--should I keep my hope of getting him back? Only mature and detailed answers, please!?
Breaking up is hard to do. Getting back together, is even tougher.
Over 1000 for a phone bill is insane. Why didn't you think of how much it would cost? You can't expect him to pay your bill, you are the one holding that end of the line!
The next part of your story makes you look very immature. You just can't play games with people. It's not fair. It doesn't work, and you are the one to get hurt in the end.
Why would he want to get back together with someone whom he thinks is immature and crazy, even if you aren't? You've portrayed yourself that way.
I recommend using the time he is away for some serious self searching. Grow up. When he comes back, he may see a more mature, less clingy person. Don't contact him, you'll just seem desperate.
If you are meant to get back together, you will.
I am sorry if this was harsh, or offensive. I was young once and played games, too. My heart was broken in what I thought was the most painful thing ever. Believe, me it heals, and loss can always be worse.Hard break-up--should I keep my hope of getting him back? Only mature and detailed answers, please!?
i dont know know one knows what the future holds
Break up after 2 1/2 years?
2 children, who are his from a previous marriage. I have known them all their lives but since they arent mine.. I have no rights to them. I concider them my own.
Ex boyfriend breaks up with me and tells me that he has met someone else. He has only known her for a month and they have kissed. He only sees her while he delivers to her store at work. He says he no longer has feelings for me and HAS to break up with me. We have had alot of problems but no one communicated properly. Part of me believes that he is lying and does have feelings left for me, but wants to think with his privates.
When he told me about the ';emotional affair'; I immediatly was angry but I expressed that I wanted to save our relationship. Yesterday he finally just said ';I want to break up'; and that was it. I sobbed, hyperventilated and said my goodbyes to the children and took some things and left. What do I do now? Do you think I should totally just move on or should I still express to him that I want our family. We have known each other for 8 years or so and I just cant see how I will live my life without him and the children in my life.
Do you think hes serious, or do you think he will come back when he realizes he has no housewife or babysitter?
Is there anything I can do to or should I give up?
Help me.. im heartbroken.Break up after 2 1/2 years?
SO are you happy being the housekeeper and babysitter? Will it make you happy for him to ask you back to be the housekeeper and babysitter?
YOU DESERVE TRUE LOVE and this guy isn't giving it to you! YOU deserve better!Break up after 2 1/2 years?
Around this time of the year all men think with their privates. Trust he will be back but the ? is will you want him back because you are going to have to forgive him for what he done and move on without always bringing it up!
Thats easier said than done!
RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! please don't stay with a man like that, yes, its sad because of the kids but, they are not your responsibility! they are his and he should be a man and grow up.
I don't think you would want him back at this point.
There is a possibility that he will awake up and ask for your forgiveness, once he realizes what life has become without your help......but we don't know what the other women is willing to do. So for now, take the time to get the rest of your things.....without sniveling in front of the children......that will only make matter worse......I'm sure they're struggling with his decision too. Face the fact that there were elements in the relationship, which defied human understanding.
As you said.......he did his talking with his penis, and it appears he's been planning this move, so now your free.......No longer strapped with the responsibilities, associated with raising someone children. Mental retardation is a real psychological disorder in American. And some of these retards have children......I respect your concern.....however your desire to remain in a relationship....a dysfunctional relationship. defies the imagination. Even if two and a half years have gone by.....you've stated in your request.......that most of that time was tumultuous......get a fresh start.....find a new away of living.......have some real fun......and stop crying over spilled milk......this guy is one in a billion....the hyperventilating.....was the relief you were feeling once you realize you were free again.......you should be dancing on the ceiling and screaming out the windows......free at last, free at last.....thank god almighty.....I'm free at last!!!
oh....yeah he as lots of experience with women......and you are one of his experiments....but don't feel bad.....so was his wife, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one..........
And the kids are the lure....just like cutie little pup-pie, or nice car etc, etc, etc.
R u sure you want him back? Could u ever trust him again? I went thru this very same thing and I hung on waiting for him. I waited for two years while he would tell me that he made a mistake only to tell me a couple weeks later that he didnt love me anymore. This went on for the whole time. I was attached to his child. I know it hurts but if you hang on theres and even better chance that you will only prolong the hurt even longer. You deserve better than just being his housewife or his baby sitter. After all this time his love for you and not wanting to hurt you would be his reason for not doing this to you. Cut ur losses and move on so you can be happy.
I beg to differ with you. He has PLENTY of experience with women. He knows enough to use you all and put his children through hell until he gets bored and wants something different. You knew what you were in for when you got together with him. He had two small children and cheated. Now he is doing the same to you. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You have been there raising his kids for all this time and he never married you. Was that a hint to you at all?
What you need to do is put some serious effort into moving on. I know you think you cannot live without him but the fact is, he is a loser and will cause you nothing but pain and wasted years. I ought to know....I have been there and done that.
Your ex boyfriend is so sure of your love for him that he sees no fear of breaking up with you as a way for him to have the time to play with his new love. He knows you will take him back. What does this tell you? This indicates he takes you for granted and does not love you enough to consider how you feel. You have loved him so much that he cannot see himself ever losing you. You need to change this or he will continue to take you for granted with a total disrespect for your feelings. . Loving someone does not mean you allow them to walk all over you. So my advice to you is to keep walking and begin to work on yourself with a professional to help you during this very difficult time. Walk away with your dignity in tack and when in time he sees that you are no longer that doormat he thought you were he will re-gain respect for you and come to value you more. My heart goes out to you and I pray you get over this hurt that he brought upon you. Good luck to you!
You need to read what you just wrote a couple of times before continuing with my advice.
First of all when a man is going to be with a woman, whether he loves her or not, he thinks with his privates. This word ';emotional affair'; has become the ';aspirin'; to the pain of unfaithfulness. I do not buy it. My man has an emotional affair and thinks with his privates and he is out of my life in a wink of an eye, I do not try to justify the moron.
If all you are expecting from a marriage is just being the maid and the babysitter, I suggest you go to the employment section of a newspaper and apply. Men are not looking for maids nor babysitters to love, they are looking for women who stand up for their femininity, full of dignity, self respect and lots of confidence in themselves.
I understand your pain, have been there, done that and got a tshirt and my advise might sound a bit harsh but you need to get that blindfold off and see the light. Learn to pick up the pieces and move on. Good luck
If you have a chance with him at all you have to give him up. Be grateful that the man had the courage to come to you with the truth and that you didn't find out on your own or through someone else. Yes, it will be hard. Work on making you more confident, happier, whatever. If he sees that you aren't going to let him/this defeat you and you handle it with grace and strength then he just may want to come back one day. But keep playing the hurt, depressed and scorned woman and you'll push him much further away.
Ex boyfriend breaks up with me and tells me that he has met someone else. He has only known her for a month and they have kissed. He only sees her while he delivers to her store at work. He says he no longer has feelings for me and HAS to break up with me. We have had alot of problems but no one communicated properly. Part of me believes that he is lying and does have feelings left for me, but wants to think with his privates.
When he told me about the ';emotional affair'; I immediatly was angry but I expressed that I wanted to save our relationship. Yesterday he finally just said ';I want to break up'; and that was it. I sobbed, hyperventilated and said my goodbyes to the children and took some things and left. What do I do now? Do you think I should totally just move on or should I still express to him that I want our family. We have known each other for 8 years or so and I just cant see how I will live my life without him and the children in my life.
Do you think hes serious, or do you think he will come back when he realizes he has no housewife or babysitter?
Is there anything I can do to or should I give up?
Help me.. im heartbroken.Break up after 2 1/2 years?
SO are you happy being the housekeeper and babysitter? Will it make you happy for him to ask you back to be the housekeeper and babysitter?
YOU DESERVE TRUE LOVE and this guy isn't giving it to you! YOU deserve better!Break up after 2 1/2 years?
Around this time of the year all men think with their privates. Trust he will be back but the ? is will you want him back because you are going to have to forgive him for what he done and move on without always bringing it up!
Thats easier said than done!
RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! please don't stay with a man like that, yes, its sad because of the kids but, they are not your responsibility! they are his and he should be a man and grow up.
I don't think you would want him back at this point.
There is a possibility that he will awake up and ask for your forgiveness, once he realizes what life has become without your help......but we don't know what the other women is willing to do. So for now, take the time to get the rest of your things.....without sniveling in front of the children......that will only make matter worse......I'm sure they're struggling with his decision too. Face the fact that there were elements in the relationship, which defied human understanding.
As you said.......he did his talking with his penis, and it appears he's been planning this move, so now your free.......No longer strapped with the responsibilities, associated with raising someone children. Mental retardation is a real psychological disorder in American. And some of these retards have children......I respect your concern.....however your desire to remain in a relationship....a dysfunctional relationship. defies the imagination. Even if two and a half years have gone by.....you've stated in your request.......that most of that time was tumultuous......get a fresh start.....find a new away of living.......have some real fun......and stop crying over spilled milk......this guy is one in a billion....the hyperventilating.....was the relief you were feeling once you realize you were free again.......you should be dancing on the ceiling and screaming out the windows......free at last, free at last.....thank god almighty.....I'm free at last!!!
oh....yeah he as lots of experience with women......and you are one of his experiments....but don't feel bad.....so was his wife, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one..........
And the kids are the lure....just like cutie little pup-pie, or nice car etc, etc, etc.
R u sure you want him back? Could u ever trust him again? I went thru this very same thing and I hung on waiting for him. I waited for two years while he would tell me that he made a mistake only to tell me a couple weeks later that he didnt love me anymore. This went on for the whole time. I was attached to his child. I know it hurts but if you hang on theres and even better chance that you will only prolong the hurt even longer. You deserve better than just being his housewife or his baby sitter. After all this time his love for you and not wanting to hurt you would be his reason for not doing this to you. Cut ur losses and move on so you can be happy.
I beg to differ with you. He has PLENTY of experience with women. He knows enough to use you all and put his children through hell until he gets bored and wants something different. You knew what you were in for when you got together with him. He had two small children and cheated. Now he is doing the same to you. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You have been there raising his kids for all this time and he never married you. Was that a hint to you at all?
What you need to do is put some serious effort into moving on. I know you think you cannot live without him but the fact is, he is a loser and will cause you nothing but pain and wasted years. I ought to know....I have been there and done that.
Your ex boyfriend is so sure of your love for him that he sees no fear of breaking up with you as a way for him to have the time to play with his new love. He knows you will take him back. What does this tell you? This indicates he takes you for granted and does not love you enough to consider how you feel. You have loved him so much that he cannot see himself ever losing you. You need to change this or he will continue to take you for granted with a total disrespect for your feelings. . Loving someone does not mean you allow them to walk all over you. So my advice to you is to keep walking and begin to work on yourself with a professional to help you during this very difficult time. Walk away with your dignity in tack and when in time he sees that you are no longer that doormat he thought you were he will re-gain respect for you and come to value you more. My heart goes out to you and I pray you get over this hurt that he brought upon you. Good luck to you!
You need to read what you just wrote a couple of times before continuing with my advice.
First of all when a man is going to be with a woman, whether he loves her or not, he thinks with his privates. This word ';emotional affair'; has become the ';aspirin'; to the pain of unfaithfulness. I do not buy it. My man has an emotional affair and thinks with his privates and he is out of my life in a wink of an eye, I do not try to justify the moron.
If all you are expecting from a marriage is just being the maid and the babysitter, I suggest you go to the employment section of a newspaper and apply. Men are not looking for maids nor babysitters to love, they are looking for women who stand up for their femininity, full of dignity, self respect and lots of confidence in themselves.
I understand your pain, have been there, done that and got a tshirt and my advise might sound a bit harsh but you need to get that blindfold off and see the light. Learn to pick up the pieces and move on. Good luck
If you have a chance with him at all you have to give him up. Be grateful that the man had the courage to come to you with the truth and that you didn't find out on your own or through someone else. Yes, it will be hard. Work on making you more confident, happier, whatever. If he sees that you aren't going to let him/this defeat you and you handle it with grace and strength then he just may want to come back one day. But keep playing the hurt, depressed and scorned woman and you'll push him much further away.
How do you know if you want to break up with your boyfriend???
I have had a boyfriend for 2 years already. I live with him and his family and we are hoping to move out soon. Problem is, I'm starting to feel tied down. Like I can't go out with my friends or do other things because he will get jealous or he just wants me to stay home with him, since hes always tired from work and just wants to watch tv then go to bed early. Im only 20 and theres a part of me that wants to just go out whenever I want, have fun with girlfriends! without worrying about my boyfriend or what he thinks. I went straight from living with my mom to living with him and I feel like someone has always been taking care of me and I need to be independant for once. I love my boyfriend, I just dont want to regret leaving him. Its just I feel like I need to really live life before I just settle down. I do also find myself attracted to other guys but wont act on it because I'm in a relationship. So basically I guess I dont want to get married and when Im 30 or 40, be checking out other guys since I didnt really get a chance to date around or be bored already or want to live life crazy since I didnt get a chance to when I was younger. should I break up with him or what?help!How do you know if you want to break up with your boyfriend???
This is a tricky situation, but i think youve pretty much answered your own question there. if you end up married to this guy, 10 years down the line, you are going to resent him for taking away your indepedence.
Perhaps u need to ask him for a break, tell him that u are feeling claustraphobic within the relationship. Tell him that u love him, but that u need to find yourself before u can be yourself with someone else.
good luck, im sure whatever u decide to do will be the right decision for u, just dont rush your decision.How do you know if you want to break up with your boyfriend???
i think u should plan for u to live at ur friends (one of ur ';girlfriends';) house for a little bit and tell ur boyfriend u need a break...if u Do this then make sure u keep in touch with him or u could lose him forever!!!!
Sweetheart, I am thinking you need to be on your own and discover yourself....at first I was thinking you two need your own place then you let him know its not about whether or not he likes it, you have to right to have your friends and fun too. However, after reading the rest I decided yeah, its just easier to be taken care of.....so YES, you need to tell him you don't know what you want but you know you need to figure it out on your own. Tell him you are not comfortable because you don't think you should be noticing other guys, and yet you are. You need to be on your own to explore that and see if its just because your friends are dating or if its because you aren't ready to settle down. If he doesn't understand have his mother explain it to him. You aren't in love with him or you wouldn't even notice other guys.
ya u should because well u guys should be friends more than dating cause if ur friends u can do a lot more!!!
the fact that your boyfriend would rather watch t.v. then spend time with you is like the red flashing lights in front of a rail road crossing......uh hello....a train is coming. get out now before it gets worse
i feel you on alot of this stuff were same age and same boat, why dont you try being independent for once and tell him you want to take it easy for a while, get ur own apt. or whatever with some female friends, and if he's willing to wait or still be with you while ur not living w/ him he's worth keeping. it sucks i can give advice but not take it myself......goodluck.
You ask a question here! You answered the question yourself. It is time to move on and enjoy some freedom and let some other men light up your world.cyst skin color
This is a tricky situation, but i think youve pretty much answered your own question there. if you end up married to this guy, 10 years down the line, you are going to resent him for taking away your indepedence.
Perhaps u need to ask him for a break, tell him that u are feeling claustraphobic within the relationship. Tell him that u love him, but that u need to find yourself before u can be yourself with someone else.
good luck, im sure whatever u decide to do will be the right decision for u, just dont rush your decision.How do you know if you want to break up with your boyfriend???
i think u should plan for u to live at ur friends (one of ur ';girlfriends';) house for a little bit and tell ur boyfriend u need a break...if u Do this then make sure u keep in touch with him or u could lose him forever!!!!
Sweetheart, I am thinking you need to be on your own and discover yourself....at first I was thinking you two need your own place then you let him know its not about whether or not he likes it, you have to right to have your friends and fun too. However, after reading the rest I decided yeah, its just easier to be taken care of.....so YES, you need to tell him you don't know what you want but you know you need to figure it out on your own. Tell him you are not comfortable because you don't think you should be noticing other guys, and yet you are. You need to be on your own to explore that and see if its just because your friends are dating or if its because you aren't ready to settle down. If he doesn't understand have his mother explain it to him. You aren't in love with him or you wouldn't even notice other guys.
ya u should because well u guys should be friends more than dating cause if ur friends u can do a lot more!!!
the fact that your boyfriend would rather watch t.v. then spend time with you is like the red flashing lights in front of a rail road crossing......uh hello....a train is coming. get out now before it gets worse
i feel you on alot of this stuff were same age and same boat, why dont you try being independent for once and tell him you want to take it easy for a while, get ur own apt. or whatever with some female friends, and if he's willing to wait or still be with you while ur not living w/ him he's worth keeping. it sucks i can give advice but not take it myself......goodluck.
You ask a question here! You answered the question yourself. It is time to move on and enjoy some freedom and let some other men light up your world.
Do I Break Up Then? And How?
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a month, and I have come to the conclusion that we want vastly different things and that we're just not right for one another. I need my space, but he's the kind of guy who believes in becoming one with the one you love. I care about my future, my family, my friends, and him. He seems to think about little else than me. To top it all off, we're both only 16....and he's already brought up the prospect of marriage.
However, I have discovered, after I started heavily doubting the future of our relationship, that, firstly, he really loves me, the way everyone deserves to be loved in their life. Secondly, I don't want a relationship that serious right now, but I still do have feelings for him. And thirdly, that I can think of no way to break up with him without hurting him. Which is the last thing I want to do, because I really do care about him.
I've realised that we went into this relationship way to soon and without considering the difficulties in so doing, and that we were better off as friends (that's when I enjoy my time with him the most, when we're being casual and friendly).
I have a few questions to ask, then. From your own personal experiences (because this is my first relationship, and I'm rather ignorant)- should I continue this relationship? I really would rather not, because it's brought me more worry than joy, but what if I make a mistake by ending it? What if he's the one, and I'm just not dealing with it well? What if he could be the one if I was more receptive to him? I mean, I do still feel the occasional pang of love for him. But maybe that's just out of intense unromantic love? Then, one the other hand, if I keep this relationship going, I may just end up stringing him along, until I realise, for sure, that we're not meant to be. Again, I don't want to hurt him!!
So if I should break up with him, then what would be the best way? Because he's sensed that something is coming, that I'm not totally into this relationship. Today over the phone, he told me not to leave, that he couldn't live without me, and then he told me to go if I didn't care about him at all. I don't know what to do. It makes me wish I'd never started this relationship at all. I'm much better at admiring my secret crushes from afar.
If anyone does recommend breaking up, how is it possible to do so without hurting someone that you care about dearly, with whom you would want to restore a friendship someday? He's a really sweet, wonderful guy. But he is so impressionable, and soft, and often, insecure. I don't want the break up to hurt him, or affect him too much or too long! I mean, he will be okay, right? He'll move on and be happy?
I don't think that I appreciate the love and affection he showers me with, since I don't love him as much, or in the same way, as he loves me. So even though I feel sometimes that I will definitely regret letting him go, I know it's what's best for both of us.
I'm sorry if my question is too confusing. But I would greatly appreciate a response.
So what should I do? And how do I do it?
Do I Break Up Then? And How?
First of all, in a break up everyone is affected. Getting hurt is part of life. He will get over it, believe me, he will.
Congratulations for being so smart.
What you want today is not neccessarily what you will want in the future. You will change, he will change as well.
Make a decision and stick to it, don't look back. Besides your thinking of a storybook if your thinking there is a 'special one' out there for you. In the real world people MAKE relationships work. They just don't 'happen'.
Life doesn't have to give you worry instead of joy. That is just being dramatic.
Telling him you can do things together sometimes works and you can be friends is a good start.Do I Break Up Then? And How?
I'm 19 and on my first relationship too.(almost 11 months) He does sound a little overly intense after only a month of dating. Unfortunately, he also seems like the type to take breakups really really hard. There is no real easy way to break up with someone. The only thing you can really do is to tell him what you told us. You thought a lot about what you feel for him and though you do care about him, you don't feel comfortable staying with him when you don't have the same depth of feelings. Good luck and try not to break his heart too bad ;)
I think you two have to sit down and talk. You should tell him all these things. Perhaps you're not ready. Do you know, if he truly loves you the way you think he does, he'll wait for the right time to be with you again. If you think that's best, then you can go your separate ways and wait a while. It won't hurt as much when you know you can continue dreaming of life with him again, and perhaps it can happen someday soon because you know he's waiting for you. All you have to do is sit down and tell him that :)
However, I have discovered, after I started heavily doubting the future of our relationship, that, firstly, he really loves me, the way everyone deserves to be loved in their life. Secondly, I don't want a relationship that serious right now, but I still do have feelings for him. And thirdly, that I can think of no way to break up with him without hurting him. Which is the last thing I want to do, because I really do care about him.
I've realised that we went into this relationship way to soon and without considering the difficulties in so doing, and that we were better off as friends (that's when I enjoy my time with him the most, when we're being casual and friendly).
I have a few questions to ask, then. From your own personal experiences (because this is my first relationship, and I'm rather ignorant)- should I continue this relationship? I really would rather not, because it's brought me more worry than joy, but what if I make a mistake by ending it? What if he's the one, and I'm just not dealing with it well? What if he could be the one if I was more receptive to him? I mean, I do still feel the occasional pang of love for him. But maybe that's just out of intense unromantic love? Then, one the other hand, if I keep this relationship going, I may just end up stringing him along, until I realise, for sure, that we're not meant to be. Again, I don't want to hurt him!!
So if I should break up with him, then what would be the best way? Because he's sensed that something is coming, that I'm not totally into this relationship. Today over the phone, he told me not to leave, that he couldn't live without me, and then he told me to go if I didn't care about him at all. I don't know what to do. It makes me wish I'd never started this relationship at all. I'm much better at admiring my secret crushes from afar.
If anyone does recommend breaking up, how is it possible to do so without hurting someone that you care about dearly, with whom you would want to restore a friendship someday? He's a really sweet, wonderful guy. But he is so impressionable, and soft, and often, insecure. I don't want the break up to hurt him, or affect him too much or too long! I mean, he will be okay, right? He'll move on and be happy?
I don't think that I appreciate the love and affection he showers me with, since I don't love him as much, or in the same way, as he loves me. So even though I feel sometimes that I will definitely regret letting him go, I know it's what's best for both of us.
I'm sorry if my question is too confusing. But I would greatly appreciate a response.
So what should I do? And how do I do it?
Do I Break Up Then? And How?
First of all, in a break up everyone is affected. Getting hurt is part of life. He will get over it, believe me, he will.
Congratulations for being so smart.
What you want today is not neccessarily what you will want in the future. You will change, he will change as well.
Make a decision and stick to it, don't look back. Besides your thinking of a storybook if your thinking there is a 'special one' out there for you. In the real world people MAKE relationships work. They just don't 'happen'.
Life doesn't have to give you worry instead of joy. That is just being dramatic.
Telling him you can do things together sometimes works and you can be friends is a good start.Do I Break Up Then? And How?
I'm 19 and on my first relationship too.(almost 11 months) He does sound a little overly intense after only a month of dating. Unfortunately, he also seems like the type to take breakups really really hard. There is no real easy way to break up with someone. The only thing you can really do is to tell him what you told us. You thought a lot about what you feel for him and though you do care about him, you don't feel comfortable staying with him when you don't have the same depth of feelings. Good luck and try not to break his heart too bad ;)
I think you two have to sit down and talk. You should tell him all these things. Perhaps you're not ready. Do you know, if he truly loves you the way you think he does, he'll wait for the right time to be with you again. If you think that's best, then you can go your separate ways and wait a while. It won't hurt as much when you know you can continue dreaming of life with him again, and perhaps it can happen someday soon because you know he's waiting for you. All you have to do is sit down and tell him that :)
I'm mad at my Boyfriend, I don't know if I should break up, ignore him, or start cheating on him.?
I am mad at him because we have been going out on and off for four years and we dont live together, and we aren't getting married. I get mad at him every couple months and break-up with him. About three weeks later he will call and we will get back togtehr. I am trying to change this cycle, though. I told him how I feel about not moving in or getting married and nothing has changed. Then last night he hung out with one of his friends that I don't like, and then I ignored some of his calls. I'm still mad now and I dont know if I should breakup with him as we will probally be back together in a few weeks any way. I'm at work now and will have to deal with him in the morning, he will be calling me. I could just ignore him, or I could act like nothing is wrong and start seeing someone else. if that gets serious then I could break-up with him them. What do you all think?I'm mad at my Boyfriend, I don't know if I should break up, ignore him, or start cheating on him.?
I vote on breaking up with him. because when i used to cheat to '; supplement '; my marraige because ex hubby was not giving me what i wanted - it really sucked. I mean the guys i was cheating with, i could never get a full commitment out of . and like i was so unfuillfed and felt even worse. I was torn and it was just a mess. after that whole thing, i say now is that if im ever that miserable again i will break up and find happiness fully ( instead of cheating )I'm mad at my Boyfriend, I don't know if I should break up, ignore him, or start cheating on him.?
if you are on-again OFF-again, then why are you still with him? you obviously don't make one another happy in the long-run, so why not end it for good? why not find someone you can actually be happy with?
just don't cheat. that is a horrible situation for everyone.
i think that things don't really work out between you guys. cause if he really loves you, shouldn't you be the only one he would go out with and be with everyday.
thought you maybe thousand miles apart from each other, none of that miles will matte if he really loves you.
you're going on and off and maybe that's a sign that you should see someone else.
you might end up being hurt and you'll get upset.
i'm sure you'll find someone out there much more deserving of your love and care than him.
maybe he's just keeping this relationship so that when he runs out of girls, he sure has you. don't let him take advantage of you. don't let a guy cheat on you. you should find someone else for you. and i'm sure you'll find him. :) good luck.
Sounds like things are not gonna work out. If he knows you're wanting more but he hasn't done anything about it... he probably doesn't want more, right? Think about how you would advise your best friend if she were in your shoes. Move on... every girl deserves a guy who's into her enough to commit...
Why do you get mad at him and break up with him? Honestly it sounds like you're just not that into him, either!
And why did you get mad at him for hanging out with his friend? Sure you may not like the guy, but it's not like he was forcing YOU to hang out with him. Really no one should tell someone else who to be friends with.
Don't cheat on him. It's guaranteed to end badly. Just break up with him and then start seeing a new guy when the time is right.
sounds like a roller coaster ride sister..cancel the next ride and try something else to ride.......
Just end it and break up with him and call it over. If he is not what you want time to move forwrd and stop messing around
never cheat you want someone else leave there is always that option but frankly it sounds like you need to date other people and not get into a serious relationship you are not ready for one if you were you would not be considering cheating and you would not ***** over the small things
break up...
let the poor guy go! then you can go about your b*tchy, jealous ways, and leave him to find someone who actually likes him. thank god he didn't marry you...
its been four yrs on and off, no wonder why he doesnt move in, youll just get mad at him and break up with him again, why would it work living together if you cant even get along with him living apart, dont wait for him too long, personally, i dont think that this is the best match for you.
I think if you are planning on cheating on him, let's hook up :)
you did not say whether you love him or not!!!!
anyway.. if he doesnot care about your feelings.. then i guess you should break up formally and do not take him back if he comes back...
you must atlk to him and try to find a result
don't take the dicision when u are angry
talk to him tell him what u expect from him and ask him about what he want to do and then make your decision
good luck and i hope u can reach ur goal
if u need more help please contact me
I vote on breaking up with him. because when i used to cheat to '; supplement '; my marraige because ex hubby was not giving me what i wanted - it really sucked. I mean the guys i was cheating with, i could never get a full commitment out of . and like i was so unfuillfed and felt even worse. I was torn and it was just a mess. after that whole thing, i say now is that if im ever that miserable again i will break up and find happiness fully ( instead of cheating )I'm mad at my Boyfriend, I don't know if I should break up, ignore him, or start cheating on him.?
if you are on-again OFF-again, then why are you still with him? you obviously don't make one another happy in the long-run, so why not end it for good? why not find someone you can actually be happy with?
just don't cheat. that is a horrible situation for everyone.
i think that things don't really work out between you guys. cause if he really loves you, shouldn't you be the only one he would go out with and be with everyday.
thought you maybe thousand miles apart from each other, none of that miles will matte if he really loves you.
you're going on and off and maybe that's a sign that you should see someone else.
you might end up being hurt and you'll get upset.
i'm sure you'll find someone out there much more deserving of your love and care than him.
maybe he's just keeping this relationship so that when he runs out of girls, he sure has you. don't let him take advantage of you. don't let a guy cheat on you. you should find someone else for you. and i'm sure you'll find him. :) good luck.
Sounds like things are not gonna work out. If he knows you're wanting more but he hasn't done anything about it... he probably doesn't want more, right? Think about how you would advise your best friend if she were in your shoes. Move on... every girl deserves a guy who's into her enough to commit...
Why do you get mad at him and break up with him? Honestly it sounds like you're just not that into him, either!
And why did you get mad at him for hanging out with his friend? Sure you may not like the guy, but it's not like he was forcing YOU to hang out with him. Really no one should tell someone else who to be friends with.
Don't cheat on him. It's guaranteed to end badly. Just break up with him and then start seeing a new guy when the time is right.
sounds like a roller coaster ride sister..cancel the next ride and try something else to ride.......
Just end it and break up with him and call it over. If he is not what you want time to move forwrd and stop messing around
never cheat you want someone else leave there is always that option but frankly it sounds like you need to date other people and not get into a serious relationship you are not ready for one if you were you would not be considering cheating and you would not ***** over the small things
break up...
let the poor guy go! then you can go about your b*tchy, jealous ways, and leave him to find someone who actually likes him. thank god he didn't marry you...
its been four yrs on and off, no wonder why he doesnt move in, youll just get mad at him and break up with him again, why would it work living together if you cant even get along with him living apart, dont wait for him too long, personally, i dont think that this is the best match for you.
I think if you are planning on cheating on him, let's hook up :)
you did not say whether you love him or not!!!!
anyway.. if he doesnot care about your feelings.. then i guess you should break up formally and do not take him back if he comes back...
you must atlk to him and try to find a result
don't take the dicision when u are angry
talk to him tell him what u expect from him and ask him about what he want to do and then make your decision
good luck and i hope u can reach ur goal
if u need more help please contact me
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