The way I've decided to best describe my feelings for him is knowing we're not right each other, but loving him anyway. This guy is amazing--he's a total sweetheart, he's caring, he's funny, and he would do anything for me--but there are also bad things. Our phone conversations are filled with static, even after a week of not talking. We have nothing to say to each other any more. We fight a lot, and it's over stupid stuff. I try to be reasonable but he seems to be emotionally unstable. He'll begin by saying that I obviously don't care for him and then by the end of the conversation he'll be crying and telling me I'm right. We met at college and live 2 hours away from each other, so I understand that summer is difficult. I've never been a clingy person and often feel that I need a lot of ';me'; space; he feels the need to see me as frequently as possible. In the beginning, we got along famously. I was thrilled to find someone so like myself that was interested in me as much, if not more, as I was in him. The problems and fighting all seemed to begin after we said those three words: I love you. He said them to me before I said them to him...I told him that I wouldn't say it until I truly and wholeheartedly meant it (as I don't doubt he waited as well). And I did. We even acknowledged after a big fight that after saying I love you, things went downhill. During this revelation, he said ';Well I just have certain expectations of someone who tells me they love me.'; When asked what these expectations were, he refused to tell me, responding that he wanted me to do them because I wanted to, not because he wanted me to. He would often get upset that I didn't surprise him after classes or do ';cute'; things for him.
I've come to the conclusion that he is too immature right now to be in this relationship--but now the question becomes this: Do I wait out his immaturity and hope I can help him along the way? Or do I break up with him and let him learn things on his own?
I don't know if I have the heart to break up with him. It makes it even harder when he says things like ';I love you more than anything'; and ';I love you forever. I know we're right for each other, I can just feel it. I've never felt this way about anyone.'; I know it would crush him if I broke up with him, and I also know that he would try relentlessly to get me back (I've broken up with him previously). He's quite persistent. But I don't feel that we're right for each other. Everyone always says, ';When it's right, you'll KNOW.'; But then how can one person ';know'; and the other know it's not right?
We both care about each other a lot, and the fights are small. We're both 20 years old, and we've only been dating for 7 months. Any advice?Is it time to break up with him?
I would suggest a time-out. Tell him that you need a solid month of no contact. No phone calls, no visits, no notes, nothing. Explain to him that if he can not respect this, then you will end it. Tell him that after the month ends, you will re-evaluate how you feel and if you think you can continue in the relationship. In order to help him deal with the idea, explain to him that you won't be seeing anyone else during that time. Since you are away from him over this summer, it is a good opportunity to see how you both will really feel about not being together. It sounds like you are somewhat torn, so this may help. There is a book I believe is called ';Obsessive Love'; that sounds a lot like what you're going through. It sounds like the problem stems from his expectations not being met, and because of it he becomes miserable. You aren't a mindreader. After the month, you may be in a better place to make a decision. Good Luck.Is it time to break up with him?
well u need our time.. i feel u on that! like idk like i love my girl and i can do things that she would be able to do with me.. but sometime idf rather do em alone.. its just a mental thing.. and in doing that it helps me stay calm and mantain a relationship.. like id sounds like you guys spent a lot of time togerher and then started getting used to each other and have been fighting.. maybe u guys needa stop communicating for a week er so and then start back up after that.. u dnt needa break up or go on break.. just take a break from each other..
oh no u need to let that be those are signs of control..he uses emotional hurt to let u down and then when u tell him u love him and he believes u have to have certain standards..no..plus it does seem like he has a immature mind set...he uses i love u cuz he knows u will come running back to him just so he can let u down
OMG! I have the same problem, except it's been 9months. But yeah we fight alot, and then he will end up saying ';I'm sorry, i love you'; and all of that. It's cute%26amp; i love him too, but i don't know. This happend the other night. To be honest i bet your afraid to break it, because of all the time you spent together; that's the way i feel too. Whenever we have come close to or actually broke up, he said ';We have been together for this long and your just going to end it?'; Which of course make's you feel cruel. But don't think just about how you have been together for 7months, think about how the 7months have been. Not just the bad things but think about all the time%26amp; you will know!
Good Luck :)
Chelle
first of all you need to tell your bf that if he dosnt like the way you love him then it dosnt mean you dont love him. he needs to understand this. i know from experience why his doing what his doing. your right in sayin he loves you, so if you really love him then you should also understand that if somebody dosnt love you the way you want him to, then dosnt mean he dosnt. if you do love him so much do the things he wants...thats what love is about....keeping the other happy....
ya so suck it up talk to him.....communication will get you through..tell him how you feel....tell him your problems....COMMUNICATE..my advice dont break up...love is hard to find...
That's a tough spot to be in! But i think if you have to ask yourself this question ( as well as total strangers online ) you probably already know the answer.
Someone who truly loves you wouldn't say things like ';well i have certain expectations of someone who tells me they love me';. If he really loved you as much as he says he does, he would except you for you not for what he wants you to be. He seems immature from what you say. Hopefully he'll grow out of it in time but do you really want to spend your summer constantly fighting with him?
You are 20 years old. You should be out having fun! Not worrying about your immature needy boyfriend...... in my opinion.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
I seriously pray to God every night he will break up with me so I don't have to crush his heart like mine was crushed before. I'm not that into him, but he thinks I am, simply because I'm too weak to say how I feel and I know he will completely hate me if I do-who wants to be told their girlfriend has been lying for three months every time she said ';i love you';? I just can't do that. I'm worried he'll kill himself, or become depressed, or really hate me, and I'll have to see him every single day for two more years in highschool. The thing is I rushed into this too quick. I was just getting over someone I truly loved, and it was really hard--so I gave in, and made the worse mistake of my life. Now I'm responsible for his feelings and possibly life and he thinks we're going to be together forever and I have led him on because I want his love life to be better than mine was. It's really a sick and twisted game, like I am somehow making up for everything my love life lacked by lying about my feelings and letting him live in the dreamworld I should have lived in. I can't stand this and I feel horrible writing all this but it's true, and I can't even help it. Please help me, I have no idea what to do, and now I'm worried I'm starting to like someone else. I don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be tied down like this anymore.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.
How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Here's the deal:
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
I just got over a bad break up...I dated a guy for 3 yrs and it ended badly, leaving me feeling bitter, hurt, taken for granted...
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
I seriously pray to God every night he will break up with me so I don't have to crush his heart like mine was crushed before. I'm not that into him, but he thinks I am, simply because I'm too weak to say how I feel and I know he will completely hate me if I do-who wants to be told their girlfriend has been lying for three months every time she said ';i love you';? I just can't do that. I'm worried he'll kill himself, or become depressed, or really hate me, and I'll have to see him every single day for two more years in highschool. The thing is I rushed into this too quick. I was just getting over someone I truly loved, and it was really hard--so I gave in, and made the worse mistake of my life. Now I'm responsible for his feelings and possibly life and he thinks we're going to be together forever and I have led him on because I want his love life to be better than mine was. It's really a sick and twisted game, like I am somehow making up for everything my love life lacked by lying about my feelings and letting him live in the dreamworld I should have lived in. I can't stand this and I feel horrible writing all this but it's true, and I can't even help it. Please help me, I have no idea what to do, and now I'm worried I'm starting to like someone else. I don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be tied down like this anymore.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.cyst microsoft office
You can sort of tell him a half truth. Say he is a good guy and you thought for sure that you would ';click'; after enough time, but you feel bad because you never felt the spark. And you can't continue a relationship without the spark. That's it. He will have to deal with it.I want to break up but it will ruin his life and screw up mine?
slowly seem to lose interest in him
If you didn't like him as much as you say you don't, you would walk away and not care. It sounds like 2 me, you r trying to convince yourself that you don't like him as much as you do.
It's like people who say It doesn't bother me, if it didn't bother them, then they would not even say it didn't bother them.
If you are really as unhappy as you say you are, then say hey I am done and walk away, who cares what he does, it is his life 2 live, not yours.
How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Here's the deal:
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
We haven't seen each other since mid-December. He and I live 8 hours of driving from each other.
We've been together since July of 2008.
At first the LD thing worked well for me. I'm an introvert and I like spending time alone with myself and my thoughts. But it never crossed my mind that I would ever get too lonely in an LDR.
Lately, we've had nothing to talk about. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing whatsoever. I'd tell him about my day at college and ask him what his day was like and he always says ';Oh, nothing much.';
Of course, my days at school are not exactly thrill rides and roller coasters either, but at least I make an effort to entertain and communicate.
I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who is putting any sort of effort into making this work.
He tells me that he likes talking on the phone with me, but I fear I cannot say the same of him.
Anyhow, every article or ';guide'; or chapter of a book on dating and relationships always says never to break up on the phone or through texting and e-mails. But since we live 8 hours apart, does this ';rule'; not apply?
I've honestly tried to make this work, but it just got more bland after getting a smidge better.
Will someone please offer me some advice?
Thank you.How can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Just explain to him that it's not working out and you don't want him to travel 8 hours to see you then you just break up with him and he has to go back so in this case the rule does not apply and i think over the phone would be fineHow can I break up with my long distance boyfriend?
Be completely honest and up-front with him, really.
It doesn't matter the way you communicate it.
That's the best thing to do in this type of situation.
Simply tell the guy that he's a good guy and all you just said; the way you convey it doesn't matter if you say it sincerely and not in a rude way.
ok i dont know y people think that long distance relationship can work out is all a bunch of s h i t.....it hard but really hard to have a long distance relationship the points is ...tell him goodbye and y would u care wat that book say..... wat r u going to do go all the way to his house just to tell him is over............THAT EVEN WORSE.../.
tell him goodbye
forget the books. Do it Over the phone or internet And just really tell him that you wish he could be there with you to hold you help you love you kiss you and so In. Tell him you wish that you could come to him when you need advice or a crutch to stand on. Tell him that u won't forget him and that you really wish things were different.....and then you're good.
Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
I just got over a bad break up...I dated a guy for 3 yrs and it ended badly, leaving me feeling bitter, hurt, taken for granted...
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
I'm finally getting out there and found someone i'm interested in. He's a great--Genuine, nice, great sense of humor. But I'm nervous and skeptical about letting myself care for him.
It's exciting, having a ';crush'; again. But we go to colleges 4 hours away from each other. We live in the same hometown, but is it worth it to give it a shot? I'm not looking for anything serious...just someone to spend time with and if it ends into something more, then thats great.
But part of me is terrified to let myself like anyone. I keep thinking the worst, like it's not meant to work out or for me to be happy. I know it's bc of my insecurities from my last relationship. But how do I get past that and trust guys again?
Do you think I should give him a shot?Dating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
. If you're comfortable in this guys company,then go for it.You're a sadder wiser young lady now.The things you learned will help you now.Sex does'nt unite,it divides.Try to seek common ground,to cement the relationshipDating again after a bad break up....trust issues?
Trust has to be earned.
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